[PDF] 2004 Key Stage 2 Year 6 - English Reading Writing and Spelling Test Levels 3-5 Mark Schemes.pdf | Plain Text

2004 2 KEY STAGE LEVELS En 2004 English tests Mark schemes Reading test, writing test and spelling test 3– 5



Contents Introduction 3 The reading test 4 The writing test 27 The spelling test 52



3 Introduction As in previous years, external marking agencies, under contract to QCA, will mark the test papers. The markers will follow the mark schemes in this booklet, which are provided here to inform teachers. The booklet includes the mark schemes for the assessment of reading, writing and spelling. For ease of reference, the test questions have been reproduced in the mark schemes. Level threshold tables will be posted on the QCA website, www.qca.org.uk, on Monday 21 June. The mark schemes were devised after trialling the tests with children and contain examples of some frequently recurring correct answers given in the trials. The mark schemes indicate the criteria on which judgements should be made. In areas of uncertainty, however, markers should exercise professional judgement based on the training they have received. The same sets of assessment focuses for reading and writing have been used for the English tasks and tests at all key stages. These provide information about the particular processes or skills the child needs in order to answer the questions. The reading assessment focuses are drawn from the national curriculum and are directly related to the Primary National Strategy. The focuses will enable teachers to gain diagnostic information from children’s performance. Software to help with this process can be downloaded from www.qca.org.uk/ca/tests/diagnostic.asp This information is provided in order to explain the structure of each mark scheme, as well as the way in which it will be used by external markers. The 2004 key stage 2 English tests and mark schemes were produced by the key stage 2 English team at the National Foundation for Educational Research (NFER) on behalf of QCA.

4 The reading test The range of marks available for each question is given under the mark box in the margin of theReading Answer Booklet. Incorrect or unacceptable answers are given a mark of 0. No half marks are awarded. There are several different answer formats: ■ short answers These may be a word or phrase only, and 1 markmay be awarded for each correct response. ■ several line answers These may be phrases or a sentence or two, and up to 2 marksmay be awarded. ■ longer answers These require a more detailed explanation of the child’s opinion, and up to 3 marksmay be awarded. ■ other answers Some responses do not involve writing and the requirements are explained in the question. The mark scheme was devised after trialling the tests with children and contains examples of some frequently occurring correct answers given in the trials. These are shown in italics. Many children will, however, have different ways of wording an acceptable answer. In assessing each answer, markers must focus on the content of what has been written and not on the quality of the writing, expression, grammatical construction, etc. The aspects of reading to be assessed are children’s ability to: 1. use a range of strategies, including accurate decoding of text, to read for meaning; 2. understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas from texts and use quotation and reference to text; 3. deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts; 4. identify and comment on the structure and organisation of texts, including grammatical and presentational features at text level; 5. explain and comment on the writers’ use of language, including grammatical and literary features at word and sentence level; 6. identify and comment on writers’ purposes and viewpoints, and the overall effect of the text on the reader; 7. relate texts to their social, cultural and historical contexts and literary traditions.

5 The following table identifies the questions (with marks available) that address each assessment focus: Assessment focus 1 underlies the reading of and response to the text and questions in the test, and is not explicitly separately assessed at key stage 2. Not all focuses will be appropriate to, or appear in, any one test at any given level. FocusAF2 AF3 AF4 AF5 AF6 AF7 Section 1 Q1 1 Q2 2 Q3 2 Q4a 1 Q4b 1 Q5a 1 Q5b 2 Q6 2 Q7 1 Q8a 1 Q8b 1 Q9 1 Q10a 1 Q10b 1 Q11 2 Section 2 Q12 1 Q13 1 Q14 1 Q15 1 Q16 1 Q17 1 Q18 1 Q19 2 Q20 2 Q21 2 Q22 3 Q23 2 Q24 3 Q25 3 Q26a 1 Q26b 2 Q27 3 Total marks 8 224880

6 Section 1: Sport for All Page 4 1.In which year did the first international games for disabled athletes take place? 1 mark Assessment focus 2:understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas from texts and use quotation and reference to text. Award1 markfor the correct date. ● 1952 2.Fill in the table using the information about the Paralympic Games on page 5. up to 2 marks Assessment focus 2: understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas from texts and use quotation and reference to text. Award2 marksfor four cells correctly completed. Award1 markfor two or three cells correctly completed. Year Place Number of Number of athletes countries 1960 Rome 400 23 2004 Athens 4000 130

7 3.Which of the sports mentioned in Range of Sports(page 6) were specially created for disabled players? Ticktwo. up to 2 marks Assessment focus 2:understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas from texts and use quotation and reference to text. Award1 markfor each correctly ticked box. Basketball Wheelchair Rugby Archery Volleyball Powerlifting Page 4 (continued) ✓ ✓

4.Each section of the information on page 6 has a different function. a) Label each arrow with the correct letter: A– phrase defining the sport B– web-link C– heading 1 mark Assessment focus 4:identify and comment on the structure and organisation of texts, including grammatical and presentational features at text level. Award1 markfor three correctly completed boxes. 8 Page 5 www.paralympic.org.uk 6 Range of Sports Basketball a wheelchair version of basketball Archery a version of archery with arrows shot at an extra-large target Eighteen different sports are played at the Paralympics. Most are adaptations of sports also played at the Olympics, including: The other four sports have been specially devised for disabled people. These four ‘unique’ sports are: Boccia a sport based on an ancient Greek ball-tossing game Goalball a goal-scoring team game with blindfolded players Powerlifting an individual event of strength; athletes lie on a bench and lift a weighted bar Wheelchair Rugby a team game combining the rules and skills of basketball and rugby played with a volleyball C B D A

9 Page 5 (continued) 4.b) What is the function of D (the two lines of text in the middle of the list of sports)? 1 mark Assessment focus 4:identify and comment on the structure and organisation of texts, including grammatical and presentational features at text level. Award1 markfor answers that explain the function as being to separate the adapted sports from the unique sports, eg: ● it separates the two different groups; ● a sentence that splits the different sport events. Also award 1 markfor answers that explain the function as being to introduce the ‘unique’ sports, eg: ● to introduce the next section; ● to tell you what the next part of information is about.

10 5.Use the information in Goalball Scores!(page 7) to complete these instructions. Assessment focus 3:deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (simple inference). a. Equipment 1 mark Award1 markfor identifying a piece of equipment from the following list: ■ blindfold; ■ protective gear / clothing; ■ goals / goalposts; ■ rattling ball / ball that makes a noise / special ball. b. Rules of the game up to 2 marks Award1 markfor each of the following rules to a maximum of 2 marks: ■ players have to be blindfolded; ■ no player can keep the ball for more than 8 seconds / you’re only allowed to keep the ball for 8 seconds; ■ the ball has to make a sound / rattle; ■ you have to wear protective gear; ■ you have to play indoors; ■ there must be three players / equal numbers on each team; ■ you have to get the ball over the line to score; ■ audience has to be silent. Do not acceptanswers expressed as a rule but which show a misunderstanding. For example: ● you’re not allowed to keep the ball for 8 seconds. Oranswers which imply that players have to be silent. For example: ● everyone has to be silent. Page 6

11 6.Fast, furious, skilful and fun!(page 7) Why do you think the writer described goalball in this way? Explain as fully as you can. up to 2 marks Assessment focus 5:explain and comment on the writers’ use of language, including grammatical and literary features at word and sentence level. Award2 marksfor answers which explain the positive impact of the quoted sentence andrefer to the intended effect upon the reader, eg: ● the writer chose these words because it sums up the game in a few words, making the reader think it is an interesting sport; ● to make other people want to have a go and make it sound exciting; ● to encourage other people to play and to show it’s fun to play because you’re moving about a lot and it is very skilful. Award1 markfor answers which give a simple explanation of the positive attitude expressed in the quoted sentences or the intended effect upon the reader, eg: ● she enjoys it and thinks that it is fun; ● because she wanted to make it exciting for the person to read; ● so that more people will want to come and play it. orwhich relate, in simple terms, the content of the first sentence to the sport of goalball as described in the article, eg: ● you’re not allowed to keep the ball for more than 8 seconds so the game is quite fast; ● because in no other game do you have to be blindfolded, and it’s fast because you’re only allowed the ball for a certain time; ● the writer described it as fast because the game moves quickly. Furious because it is a team game and you want to get the ball off the other team. Skilful because it takes some practice. Page 6 (continued)

12 7.The last paragraph on page 7 has been put in a shaded box. What is this paragraph? Tickone. 1 mark Assessment focus 6:identify and comment on writers’ purposes and viewpoints, and the overall effect of the text on the reader. Award1 markfor correctly ticked box. a commentary a summary a personal opinion a synopsis Page 7 ✓ “Goalball’s really exciting – you’re not allowed to keep the ball for more than eight seconds, and that makes the game move fast. We wear some special protective gear because the ball is quite hard. I’ve had a few bruises! My team practises every Saturday and I always look forward to it.” Paul Dobson, goalball player

13 8.Fill in the following table of information about the event reported inClose Contest.(page 8) a) On what date was the event held? 1 mark Assessment focus 3:deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (deduction). Award1 markfor the correct date in any format, eg: ■ 18 March / 18.3.2004 / 18.3.04 / 18/03/2004 / 18.03.04 If the year is included it must be the correct year. Do not accepta response which is not obviously a date, eg 18.3 / 18.03 b) Where was the event held? 1 mark Assessment focus 2: understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas from texts and use quotation and reference to text. Award1 markfor ■ Woodbridge [Arena]. Do not acceptArena. Page 7 (continued)

14 10.Close Contest(page 8) is a sports report which includes specialist sports language. Explain the meaning of the phrases listed. One has been done for you. up to 2 marks Assessment focus 5:explain and comment on the writers’ use of language, including grammatical and literary features at word and sentence level. a) dominated the passing Award1 markfor answers which show an understanding of the word ‘dominated’ through an indication that one team was playing better than the other, eg: ● had the ball for most of the time / their passing was the best / were in control of the ball. Do not acceptundeveloped answers which suggest that one team played well, eg: passed to each other/ good passing. b) the opposition Award1 markfor answers showing an understanding of the word ‘opposition’ in the context of the sports report, eg: ● the other team / side / the opposite team. 9.Close Contest (page 8) is a report of a match between disabled players. How do you know the players are disabled? 1 mark Assessment focus 3:deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (simple inference). Award1 markfor answers which quote or paraphrase the reference to wheelchairs, eg: ● it says newly redesigned wheelchairs; ● the page is called ‘British Wheelchair Basketball Forum’. Do not acceptanswers which suggest that the photograph provides evidence of the players being disabled. Page 8

15 11.Which features of the text tell you that it has only just been written? Findtwo. up to 2 marks Assessment focus 4:comment on the structure and organisation of texts, including grammatical and presentational features at text level. Award1 markfor each answer that refers to a relevant feature of the text, up to a maximum of 2. The following are examples of common acceptable responses: ● the heading ‘Latest Sports Report’; ● the web page menu ‘Sports News’; ● the report includes the words ‘last night’; ● the date is recent / the date / 19/03/2004; ● it’s this year’s. If two answers from the same category are given, the second answer should not be credited. Do not acceptanswers where a whole sentence is quoted from the text unless target words are emphasised in some way. Page 8(continued)

16 Section 2: You Can Do It 12.Fiona’s grandfather was moving out of his big old house because he had been ill. While she was helping to pack up his belongings Fiona came across a photograph of 13.As she was sorting things out, Fiona fell down the stairs and hurt her legs. She couldn’t move and as she was waiting for help she found Questions 12–16 Award1 markfor each correct choice. Assessment focus 2:understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas from texts and use quotation and reference to text. 14.While Fiona waited she remembered how Grampa had 15.Fiona waited for a long time but then her dad came into the house and found her Assessment focus 2:understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas from texts and use quotation and reference to text. 16.Then they went to Assessment focus 3:deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (simple inference). Assessment focus 3:deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (simple inference). Grampa as a baby. Grampa with her mum. Grampa and herself by the swings. Grampa as a young man. laughing at a photograph shivering with cold crying and in pain sleeping soundly Page 9 a photograph album. some old letters. a photograph of Grampa in uniform. a letter from Grampa. read to her saved her helped her played games when she was younger. Assessment focus 3:deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (simple inference). at the foot of the stairs. He took her to hospital where she was treated. watch television. see Mum and Grampa. collect the old photographs. help Mum with the packing.

17 Page 10 17.Why did Fiona’s mother feel annoyed at the beginning of the story? (page 9) 1 mark Assessment focus 3:deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (simple inference). Award1 markfor answers which identify any one of the following as the source of Fiona’s mother’s annoyance: ■ the amount of work she had to do; ■ that Grampa was left alone in his flat; ■ Fiona’s lack of co-operation; ■ Fiona’s tardiness. For example: ● she had a lot of stuff to pack up for Grampa; ● she didn’t want to keep Grampa waiting too long; ● Fiona wasn’t doing what she was told. Also acceptresponses where ‘she’ clearly refers to Fiona, eg: ● she was taking such a long time up in the attic; ● she was being very slow. 18.Fiona did not like Grampa’s new flat because she disliked change. Findanother reason why she disliked the flat. (page 9) 1 mark Assessment focus 3:deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (simple inference). Award1 markfor references to the size of the flat or to the effect of Grampa living in a smaller flat, eg: ● it was too small for her to go and stay with Grampa; ● the flat was too small for all Grampa’s things; ● she could not sleep there every weekend. Do not acceptgeneral answers along the lines of: ● she liked his old house better; ● she didn’t want Grampa to move out of his big old house.

18 19.Grampa said to Fiona, ‘Those who hurry fastest are the first to fall.’(page 11) Explain what he meant. up to 2 marks Assessment focus 5:explain and comment on the writers’ use of language, including grammatical and literary features at word and sentence level. Award2 marksfor answers which show an understanding of the metaphorical significance of the phrase, eg: ● if you like to be first you will pay in a way; ● people who rush things never get them done. Award1 markfor answers which give a literal interpretation of the phrase, eg: ● people who rush will trip over; ● you shouldn’t hurry or you might fall. Also award 1 mark for explanations which go beyond a literal interpretation of the sentence but which do not refer to the consequences, eg: ● he meant don’t rush what you are doing, take your time. Do not acceptanswers which refer specifically to Fiona falling down the stairs without generalisation. Page 10 (continued) 20.… pain flared in her knees.(page 12) Why is this an effective way of describing how Fiona felt after she fell down the stairs? up to 2 marks Assessment focus 5:explain and comment on the writers’ use of language, including grammatical and literary features at word and sentence level. Award2 marksfor answers which make explicit or implicit reference to the impact of ‘flared’ through references to speed or suddenness, to the intermittent nature of the pain or to fire / flames, eg: ● it’s like pain rushed round her legs very fast; ● it was like her knees were on fire. Award1 markfor answers which refer in general terms to severe pain or which identify authorial technique but do not relate it to ‘flared’, eg: ● because the pain was everywhere in her knees; ● because it helps you to imagine the pain.

19 Page 11 21.When the box split open: It was mainly photographs which had spilled out. Memories of her Grampa’s life and family. There was an old one of him in uniform … A strong face with a dark moustache. (page 11) Why do you think the author included these details about how Grampa used to look? up to 2 marks Assessment focus 6:identify and comment on writers’ purposes and viewpoints, and the overall effect of the text on the reader. Award2 marksfor answers which refer explicitly to the contrast between Grampa’s appearance when he was younger and his portrayal as an older man andidentify the writer’s purpose, eg: ● it is comparing what he looked like then to what he looks like now and also compares how strong he was to how weak he is now; ● the author wanted you to know that Grampa used to be very healthy and determined (strong face) compared to now. Award1 markfor answers which refer, explicitly or implicitly, to the contrast between Grampa’s appearance when he was younger and his portrayal as an older man, eg: ● because he didn’t look like that any more, not after he’d had a stroke; ● it shows that people change as they grow up; ● he used to be fitter and stronger than he is now; ● because it tells you more about him when he was younger.

20 22.But it hadn’t been like that at all.(page 12) What does this sentence tell you about Fiona’s feelings after Grampa came out of hospital? Explain your answer fully. up to 3 marks Assessment focus 3:deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (complex inference). Award3 marksfor developed answers which explore Fiona’s feelings in terms of the contrast between her expectations (while Grampa was in hospital) andthe reality (when he came home), eg: ● she thought she would have someone to play with and help but Grampa just didn’t do anything. I think she was lonely and upset because Grampa wasn’t what she thought; ● Fiona was upset because she wanted to play cards with him and pick flowers to go in his room and sort out his cushions but he just sat in his chair by the fire most of the day; ● Fiona probably felt angry because he didn’t do anything that he used to do with her. She was probably bored because they used to do fun things but now he just sat by the fire. She probably found him annoying because he didn’t do any exercises or anything. Award2 marksfor answers which eitherdescribe Fiona’s feelings when Grampa came out of hospital, including references to her previous expectations or to the reality of the situation, orwhich explore in detail Fiona’s thoughts and expectations both before and after Grampa came out of hospital but need not include an explicit statement of her feelings, eg: ● I think she was a bit scared of him and a bit disappointed because he couldn’t talk to her or play with her; ● she may have been upset about him because he was dribbling just like a baby and his clothes were too big for him; ● she felt as if the friend she once had had disappeared and a quiet, weak old man stood in his place. Award1 mark for undeveloped answers which refer to Fiona’s feelings of disappointment when Grampa came out of hospital. The reference to feelings may be implicit, for example, in a description of the circumstances when he came out of hospital, eg: ● that everything she had dreamed did not come true; ● Grampa had changed and he didn’t seem like himself after he had come back from hospital; ● all the things she wanted to do with him she didn’t because it was all different, he just sat in his chair. Page 11 (continued)

21 23.Just after he came out of hospital (page 12), Grampa felt depressed. How do you know? Find and write down twopieces of evidence. up to 2 marks Assessment focus 3:deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (simple inference). Award1 markfor each reference to any of the following descriptions of Grampa’s behaviour on page 12, to a maximum of 2: ■ he sat in his chair most of the day; ■ his eyes were always sad / vague; ■ he hardly ever answered anyone; ■ he didn’t do his exercises. For example: ● he was so quiet; ● his eyes are always looking sad; ● he didn’t try to get himself better; ● he didn’t want to do anything, he just sat there. Also accept answers that children might have inferred are a symptom of depression. For example: ● sometimes he dribbled his food; ● his clothes were too big for him; ● he had lost weight. Page 12

22 Page 12 (continued) 24.How does Fiona’s accident change how she feels about Grampa? Explain your answer as fully as you can, using parts of the story to help you. up to 3 marks Assessment focus 3:deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (complex inference). Award3 marksfor answers which explain Fiona’s increased understanding of Grampa’s situation as a result of her own changed circumstances, including reference to his feelings, possibly implicitly, and which also include reference to events in the story, eg: ● when she compared the picture of herself in the pool to Grampa now, she understood how important encouragement was to his recovery. She was able to identify with his nervousness, and feel a little bit of what he was feeling as she was on crutches and couldn’t walk properly; ● she knows now that she can’t use her legs how it feels not being able to do so many things as she could before. She remembers him always encouraging her and she knows that is what she needs to do to him. Award2 marksfor answers which explain Fiona’s increased understanding of Grampa andwhich refer, possibly indirectly, to events in the story, eg: ● she knows how hard it is for him to do things because she can’t get around very well at the end of the story and neither can her Grampa; ● after looking at the photo and remembering how Grampa had helped her, she thought that she would help him as he had helped her when she was little; ● when she saw the photo album she realised he would need a friend to help him as she did. Award1 markfor answers which eitheridentify in general terms Fiona’s increased understanding of Grampa but without specific reference to events in the text, orwhich refer to relevant events in the story but not to the development of feelings, eg: ● she feels alone and realises that he is alone every day; ● she knew how it felt not to be able to walk properly; ● she starts looking at the photo album and remembering Grampa making her confident to stand in the pool and saying to her ‘Fiona you can do it’. Do not acceptthe unelaborated response both of them cannot walk.

23 25.Many people write down their thoughts and feelings in their diary. What do you think Fiona might have written in her diary after visiting Grampa two weeks afterhe had moved to his new flat? Think about: ● what she thought of the flat; ● her friendship with Grampa. up to 3 marks Assessment focus 3:deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (complex inference). Award3 marksfor answers which describe Grampa’s circumstances and include Fiona’s thoughts and feelings, with appropriate detail about the relationship between both characters at the end of the story, eg: ● he looked ill and sad. I don’t really like the flat, but he needs to be near the family. He can’t play games any more or walk about. He is quite depressed. I want to look after him; ● he looked a bit better and my feelings about him were wrong. We have fun now talking. I’m still not keen on the flat but the furniture’s nice and the flat suits Grampa; ● his flat wasn’t nice, it was very small. I don’t think my mum is encouraging him enough. We don’t talk as much as we used to, he just sits down all the time. Award2 marksfor answers which incorporate Fiona’s feelings or thoughts and her commentary on events and which show an understanding of the final part of the story, eg: ● I like his new flat. It is nice. We had a chat about how he liked the flat. We played a game of cards. He is learning his words, he is doing very well. He makes nice cups of tea; ● the flat was okay but it was very small. I don’t think I will be able to stay with him at the weekends. Grampa looked a bit happier, which I was glad of. I think he has settled in quite well. Award1 markfor answers which describe the day or include a description of the flat or Grampa but make minimal reference to Fiona’s feelings or thoughts, eg: ● it was fun. I was going round on his wheelchair and we played cards; ● the flat was very small and all his stuff didn’t fit so he had to throw half of it away; ● I didn’t really like the flat because it was too small. I talked to Grampa about our friendship, how I used to sleep over at his house every weekend. Note: answers do not need to be written in the first person (using ‘I’ as the voice of Fiona) to be awarded marks. Page 13

24 Page 14 26 a)What made Fiona remember things that happened in the past? 1 mark Assessment focus 3:deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (simple inference). Award1 markfor answers which refer, implicitly or explicitly, to the photographs or photograph album, or to Fiona’s accident, eg: ● the photos that fell out of the box; ● she fell down and had time to think; ● seeing Grampa when he was young. b)Why are Fiona’s memories important to this story? up to 2 marks Assessment focus 6: identify and comment on writers’ purposes and viewpoints, and the overall effect of the text on the reader. Award2 marks for answers which eitherrefer in detail to Fiona’s discoveries about her relationship with Grampa,orwhich describe the importance of memories to the structure of the story, eg: ● because the story is about Fiona realising that in the past her Grampa helped her and so now she must help him; ● because they make her change her mind about the way she feels about Grampa; ● they’re important because you need to know what happened before and compare it with the present. Award1 markfor answers which refer to Fiona remembering how Grampa was in the past, orto the way in which her recollections reveal information to the reader, orto how her memories act as a spur to her subsequent actions, eg: ● they include information about Fiona’s life; ● they show you how much Grampa has changed; ● her memories make her go to her Grampa and help him and show him he can do it.

25 Page 14 (continued) 27.The reading booklet contains some information about sport calledSport for Alland a story called You Can Do It. Why do you think You Can Do Itwas chosen as a title for the wholereading booklet? up to 3 marks Assessment focus 6:identify and comment on writers’ purposes and viewpoints, and the overall effect of the text on the reader. Award3 marksfor answers which explore the theme of the booklet in terms of achievement or encouragement and illustrate this with references to each of the sections, eg: ● it was chosen as a title because the writer is trying to say that people with disabilities are not different from those people who have no disabilities. Disabled people play sports too and in the story it has been a good title because Fiona is saying to her Grampa that he can do it, that he can make himself get better; ● they both have something to do with achieving something like the people playing in the wheelchair basketball final and Fiona and Grampa trying to walk. Award2 marksfor answers which make specific reference to the suitability of the title for the two sections but without making any links between the sections explicit, orwhich make a general comment about the suitability of the title and refer to one section only, eg: ● it shows disabled people can do exactly the same as we can and Fiona wants her Grampa to pull through; ● it’s saying to disabled people ‘just because you have a disability doesn’t mean you can’t do sports’. And the story was called ‘You Can Do It’ because it’s about Fiona and her Grampa reassuring each other with the words ‘You can do it’; ● it was chosen because the whole book is about disabled people and how they can do different sports. I think ‘You Can Do It’ was chosen because it gives inspiration to all people. Award1 markfor answers which indicate the appropriateness of the title to the booklet but are not developed,oranswers which refer only to one section, eg: ● because everyone can do what they want if they try hard enough; ● the story is about memories and when she was young Grampa said ‘You can do it’ to Fiona and she remembers it; ● it’s urging people to take part and also keeping their spirits up. Do not acceptanswers which simply state that the booklet contains a story called You Can Do Itor that either of the main characters say these words to each other without elaboration.

26 This page may be used for your own notes

27 The writing test There are two mark schemes: one for the longer task, Time for a Change?(pages 30–33); and the other for the shorter task, Eyewitness(pages 44–45). The aspects of writing to be assessed are children’s ability to: 1. write imaginative, interesting and thoughtful texts; 2. produce texts which are appropriate to task, reader and purpose; 3. organise and present whole texts effectively, sequencing and structuring information, ideas and events; 4. construct paragraphs and use cohesion within and between paragraphs; 5. vary sentences for clarity, purpose and effect; 6. write with technical accuracy of syntax and punctuation in phrases, clauses and sentences; 7. select appropriate and effective vocabulary (this is not assessed separately, but contributes to text structure and organisation and composition and effect); 8. use correct spelling (assessed through the spelling test). The mark scheme strands For the purpose of marking the writing, related assessment focuses have been drawn together into three strands: ■ sentence structure and punctuation; ■ text structure and organisation; ■ composition and effect. For the longer task, the strands are organised as follows: Handwriting is assessed in the longer task. The marking criteria are shown in section F on page 33. Assessment focuses ■ sentence structure and – vary sentences for clarity, purpose and effect; punctuation – write with technical accuracy of syntax and punctuation in phrases, clauses and sentences. ■ text structure and – organise and present whole texts effectively, sequencing organisation and structuring information, ideas and events; – construct paragraphs and use cohesion within and between paragraphs. ■ composition and effect – write imaginative, interesting and thoughtful texts; – produce texts which are appropriate to task, reader and purpose.

28 For the shorter task, the strands are organised as follows: The criteria encourage positive recognition of achievement in writing. Children do not necessarily develop uniformly across these categories, and the strands allow separate judgements to be made about the relative strengths and weaknesses of a child’s work. Marking procedures The criteria for each strand identify typical characteristics of children’s work in different bands. When marking, it is helpful first to identify which bands are most relevant to the writing and then refine the judgement to a mark within a band. The annotations on the example scripts show how to look for features in the writing, and the summary boxes show how to weigh these features to reach a mark. Where the writing clearlydoes not meet the criteria for Band 1, a mark of 0 should be awarded. Children will be expected to follow the prompt very carefully, especially in content and form. Those children who write on a different topic or in another form will not be credited with any marks for composition and effect. Those children who do not maintain the form throughout the piece, for example a non-fiction piece becoming narrative, will not have access to the full range of marks for composition and effect. Marking the writing A set of annotated scripts, written by year 6 children during the English pre-tests, is presented here to help your judgements of the writing. Scripts are reproduced without corrections to spelling. Each writing task is introduced separately and is followed by its marking grid. Assessment focuses ■ sentence structure, – vary sentences for clarity, purpose and effect; punctuation and text – write with technical accuracy of syntax and punctuation organisation in phrases, clauses and sentences; – construct paragraphs and use cohesion within and between paragraphs. ■ composition and effect – write imaginative, interesting and thoughtful texts; – produce texts which are appropriate to task, reader and purpose.

29 The longer task:Time for a Change? This prompt presents an alternative school timetable and invites children to imagine that it might be introduced in their own school. The task is to give views on the new timetable, and the prompt clearly states that the audience will be the school assembly. Some pupil reactions are included and the planning sheet offers further support with the development of content. Better performances are distinguished by convincing explanation of the writer’s chosen viewpoint, a clear and developed overall structure and stylistic choices which seek to engage and persuade the reader. 2 Time for a Change? Your task is to write down what you will say about this new timetable in the assembly. Here are some reactions to the new timetable: Pupils have been asked to give their views in assembly ● 7.00am Registration and assembly ● 7.20am Exercise session ● 8.00am Breakfast ● 8.30am Lessons ● 12.30pm Sport or homework club ● 1.30pm School closes I don’t like the idea of having all the lessons in the morning.I think it would be healthy to start the day with some exercise. It would mean getting up very early! Your school is thinking about making some changes to the school day. This is an outline of the new timetable which might be introduced:

30 Mark scheme for the longer task: Time for a Change? Band A1 SECTION ASENTENCE STRUCTURE AND PUNCTUATION Assessment focuses: vary sentences for clarity, purpose and effect write with technical accuracy of syntax and punctuation in phrases, clauses and sentences ● Clauses usually grammatically accurate. Parts of sentences mostly joined with and,but,then. Some simple sentences, often brief. Some modal verbs (we should start school;it should be). ● Sentences sometimes demarcated by capital letters and full stops. 1 mark ● Simple connectives and,but,orlink clauses with some variation (because). Subjects and verbs frequently repeated (I think …); use of modal verbs (you could be doing;would do more sport). Noun phrases mostly simple (some parents) with some expansion (a lot of energy). Some adjectives (early,hungry). ● Full stops, capital letters, exclamation marks and question marks mostly accurate; commas used in lists. 2–3 marks ● Sentences are mostly grammatically sound. Subordinating connectives develop explanation within the sentence:if,because(because it will be too dark),when. Adverbials (with our old timetable) and expanded phrases (much more enjoyable) vary construction of sentences. Tense choice appropriate; present tense used (we need lunch); modal verbs to express possibility are varied (could,might). Some variation in subjects, eg to refer to reader, timetable, writer and previous ideas (the lesson times / you/I/this idea). ● Most sentences correctly demarcated; some commas mark phrases or clauses. 4–5 marks ● Sentence types are sometimes varied: questions (why should we get up at 6.00?) or imperatives (So, remember, folks!). Simple and complex sentences used, with some variety of connectives: subordinating conjunctions (which,until,where). Expanded phrases and clauses express ideas economically. Shades of meaning established through additional words and phrases (slightly). Adaptation of verb forms to refer to the future (children will be more active) and the past. ● Range of punctuation used, almost always correctly, eg brackets, dashes, colons. 6–7 marks ● Length and focus of sentences varied to express subtleties in meaning and focus on key ideas. Word order may be manipulated for emphasis (no child on this planet,let alone a school); sentences may include embedded subordinate clauses for economy of expression. ● Range of punctuation used, with little omission, to give clarity. 8 marks Band A2 Band A3 Band A4 Band A5

31 Band B1 SECTION BTEXT STRUCTURE AND ORGANISATION Assessment focuses: organise and present whole texts effectively, sequencing and structuring information, ideas and events construct paragraphs and use cohesion within and between paragraphs ● Ideas grouped into sequences of sentences; some division possibly indicated by layout. Organisation may follow the chronological sequence of the timetable. ● Simple connectives used (and,and then). Some connection between sentences, eg pronouns referring to the same person or thing (we,you). 1 mark ● Text structure overall is simple: includes brief introduction or concluding statement, eg expressing a view about the timetable (I think the new timetable is bad). Some divisions between sections of content indicated, eg use ofalso/and iffor additional information (I also think …). ● Relationships between ideas often simply linked to chronology of the timetable. Connection between sentences built up by pronoun reference to main things/people in the text (children/they) and connections between words develop topic (teachers/marking/work). 2–3 marks ● The whole speech is logically organised: includes introduction, ordered points and conclusion to summarise or emphasise the writer’s view. New sections or paragraphs are sequenced, although paragraph transitions may be awkward. If used, conventional phrases (My first reason/my second point) are integrated into the text. ● Within paragraphs, content often introduced by a main sentence. Sections or paragraphs organised to expand and develop a particular topic, eg with explanation (it means we will have to put in a lunch break). Connections within paragraphs established and maintained, eg by reference to a previous idea (This way it is easier to do). 4–5 marks ● Overall organisation of the text is supported by paragraphs. Relationships between paragraphs give structure to whole text, eg connections make the structure clear to the reader by referring forwards and backwards (So pupils I’ve wrapped up my speech with the conclusion that the timetable is diabolical!). ● Paragraphs are developed: main ideas consistently supported by relevant argument or explanation. Reference to the same thing or person sometimes varied to avoid repetition (I don’t think many people will go to either [sport or homework club]). 6–7 marks ● Across the whole piece the structure of the text is controlled. Sequencing of sections contributes to overall effectiveness and shape of text, eg strategic placing of most engaging idea for maximum impact, such as presenting smaller, less significant reasons first and building up to most persuasive points (my biggest reason …). ● Individual paragraphs varied in length and structure. Each paragraph has a clear focus, and content is organised, eg by reference or contrast within the paragraph (Nevertheless, there are some points to make for the timetable …). 8 marks Band B2 Band B3 Band B4 Band B5

32 Band C1 SECTION CCOMPOSITION AND EFFECT Assessment focuses: write imaginative, interesting and thoughtful texts produce texts which are appropriate to task, reader and purpose ● A short series of points about the timetable; activities may be listed (football,swimming,netball); possible inconsistency of opinion. ● Details (do a word search) or simple statement of opinion (it is too early) expand content. 1–2 marks ● Content includes points relevant to writer’s views; some explanation of ideas (because people could still be at work) or direct address to audience (for your breakfast). ● The writer’s attitude towards the timetable is expressed (it can make you healthy). ● Vocabulary choice is mostly relevant and develops content (vegetarians,football or rugby,choir club); some use of impersonal constructions (It would be). 3–5 marks ● Attempts to engage and persuade audience by selection of points to appeal to (need sleep in the afternoon) or amuse the audience. ● The writer maintains a consistent approach to the issues, eg shown as representing a reasoned and sensible attitude (we have got to have lunch). ● Style of address (formal, friendly) supports persuasive purpose, eg personal comments (so you might like them), generalisation (most people), suggestion (maybe,perhaps). 6–8 marks ● Ideas adapted, eg points selected deliberately to appeal to the school audience (no child would want four hours of lessons). Thorough coverage of points. ● A clear and consistent viewpoint established and controlled, eg writer develops a confident and/or considerate persona as a persuasive strategy: spokesperson for assembly audience (it is in my nature to stand up for the children). ● Stylistic features enhance persuasion, eg emotive vocabulary (lessons all clumped together;drowsy); use of rhetorical questions (fellow pupils, would you like to get up before seven o’clock?). 9–11 marks ● Choice and placing of content is informed, eg the writer prioritises comments thought to be of most interest to audience, so that they are well placed for emphasis (Kids can’t go to school without a playtime). ● Viewpoint well controlled and convincing, eg writer positioned as a pupil who has a clear and authoritative overview of the advantages and disadvantages of the proposed change (schools around the United Kingdom …). ● Stylistic features manipulated fully to support purpose and be engaging, eg inclusion of direct address, wordplay or patterning. 12 marks Band C2 Band C3 Band C4 Band C5

33 Band F1 SECTION FHANDWRITING All children need to develop a serviceable handwriting style which is legible, clear and encourages the reader to engage with what has been written. This assessment of handwriting is based on children’s ability to write legibly and fluently in a sustained piece of writing. Judgements will be made on the basis of the legibility and clarity of the handwriting throughout the longer piece, supported by a closer look at the size and position of words and letters. The handwriting is legible and shows some features of regularity in size and spacing. However, overall the script is disjointed and uneven. 1 mark Overall, the handwriting is regular with some flow and movement. Letters and words are usually appropriate in size and position but there is some variation. 2 marks The handwriting is consistent and fluent with letters and words appropriately placed. The handwriting maintains a personal style to engage the reader. 3 marks Band F2 Band F3

34 SENTENCE STRUCTURE & PUNCTUATION TEXT STRUCTURE & ORGANISATION evidence of adverbials (above A2), but their use is repetitive although the piece does not have an introduction, there is a concluding statement (B2) subordinating connectives (above A2) connection built up by pronoun reference (B2) indication of additional information to follow (B2) connected vocabulary develops topics (B2) COMPOSITION & EFFECT Some relevant content and explanation of ideas (because if there is cereal); address to audience less secure (switches betweenkidsand you) (C2). Writing expresses opposition to new timetable (big problem) (C2). Some vocabulary supports persuasive purpose (survive) or is specific (allergies), but elsewhere simple terms are used (C2). Summary There is some evidence of the development of content and the piece maintains a simple but clear point of view. Greater use of persuasive vocabulary would be necessary for a mark in the higher band. Band C2 – 5 marks SENTENCE STRUCTURE & PUNCTUATION Summary Some sentence features (adverbials, subordinating connectives) characteristic of A3, but repetition of sentence openings and very limited evidence of commas keeps the mark at the top of Band A2. Band A2 – 3 marks repetitive subjects (A2) simple connectives with some variation (A2) accurate use of sentence demarcation (A2) TEXT STRUCTURE & ORGANISATION Summary The piece has some overall shape, and there is evidence of connections within the text; greater grouping of ideas and organisation within paragraphs would be necessary for Band B3. Band B2 – 3 marks One big problem will be for kids who walk to school. In the morning at 7:00am it may still be dark. In the morning it is very hard to see children if they are wearing dark clothes. Some children who usually sleep late might end up falling asleep in lessons. Another bad thing is that the kids don’t get any time to muck around with their friends. Another thing is that mums and dads arn’t usually home and are usually working. When kids get to school they are often hungary and have breckfast when they wake up, but with this they have to survive on the nights before dinner. As well as that the ones that walk to school have to go to school and to excercises before breckfast. Breckfast is not at all good for people with milk allergies because if there is cereal then can’t have milk on it. If there is lessons all morning with out a break then you might a cramp in your hand. Overall this change is not a good idea.

SENTENCE STRUCTURE & PUNCTUATION TEXT STRUCTURE & ORGANISATION some variation in use of modal verbs (A3) brief introductory statement (B2) additional information indicated (B2) use of pronoun to refer back (B2) attempts to indicate divisions between sections of text (B2), but effect weakened as content not always grouped logically (registration) COMPOSITION & EFFECT A series of opinions, with some explanation, covers several areas of content (C2); however initial support for new timetable unbalanced by main emphasis on problems. Writer’s attitude is expressed (I agree with) (C2), although views are not consistently held. Some vocabulary supports persuasive purpose (love, adore) (above C2), but other choices are unspecific and repetitive (registration thing, read things, bad thing). Summary The writing expresses relevant views about several aspects of the new timetable, with some development and attempts to use language persuasively. However, weakness in consistency of purpose keeps the mark within Band C2. Band C2 – 5 marks SENTENCE STRUCTURE & PUNCTUATION Summary Some variety of adverbials and modals suggests Band A3; there is also mostly correct sentence demarcation. Less repetition of connectives and more control over the development of long sentences would be necessary for the higher mark in this band. Band A3 – 4 marks adverbials help to vary sentence openings (A3) sentence demarcation secure (A3) adaptation of verb form (passive) (above A3), but elsewhere limited variety of subordinating connectives some weaknesses in the control of longer sentence structures (below A3) TEXT STRUCTURE & ORGANISATION Summary Some simple overall organisation of text together with some use of cohesion lead to Band B2. However, weaknesses with the grouping of similar ideas suggest the lower mark in this band. Band B2 – 2 marks I think the new timetable is great! I love the fact we can do alot of sport because I think I’m a sporty person. Also as you may not know, I love working so I agree with the amount of time we have for lessons. Sometimes I think assembalys fun but I’m not too sure about the arrangement about the assembaly time. If we have breakfast at school I think that minght be a problem because some people are fussy eaters and they may not have anything. Now the registration thing I think can be a bit of a problem with me because I hate registration and as it says on the time table there is alot of time being spent on that. I have quite alot of bad points to be made too. firstly, I just don’t really agree with the assembally because I think some kids would prefer to do some work instead. Also I do think it’s good because I think when teachers read things out to you I think it’s fun and I adore him practice because I love singing. And another bad thing I think is Registration because again we could be learning things. use of comma to separate parts of sentence (A3) 35

36 SENTENCE STRUCTURE & PUNCTUATION TEXT STRUCTURE & ORGANISATION some variation of modal verbs (A3), but also some repetitive use (below A3) conventional organisational words and phrases are integrated into the text, helping to give overall structure (B3) use of commas to separate phrase (A3) logical link within the paragraph connects a related point (B3) organisation within the paragraph: an opinion is given and then backed up with reasons (B3) connections maintained by reference back to previous ideas (B3) COMPOSITION & EFFECT The opinion piece is clearly in support of new timetable: writing anticipates possible concerns (Although you may think) and emphasises advantages (help you to concentrate) (C3); the effect is slightly weakened by ordering of points and limited appeal. Writer portrayed as giving careful consideration to both sides and coming to a reasoned conclusion (C3). The polite style (would like to say) is supported by formal language (In conclusion), and some words help to persuade (relax, enjoy) (C3); however, word choice is mostly unadventurous. Summary A series of relevant points designed to persuade a school audience is presented, suggesting Band C3. More effective ordering of points and more use of vocabulary to interest and appeal would be necessary for a higher mark in this band. Band C3 – 6 marks SENTENCE STRUCTURE & PUNCTUATION Summary Extended sentences, adverbials and some accurate use of commas with mainly secure sentence demarcation suggest Band A3; evidence of adapted verb forms (above A3) takes the mark to the top of the band. Less repetition of modal verbs and greater range of punctuation would be necessary for the higher band. Band A3 – 5 marks subordinate clause expands sentence (A3) verb forms varied and adapted (above A3) to refer to: continuous action future time past time adverbial varies sentence construction (A3) TEXT STRUCTURE & ORGANISATION Summary Organisational devices – used meaningfully to guide the reader through the text – together with some elaboration of topics with explanation lead to Band B3; more consistent development of paragraphs at the beginning of the text would be necessary for the higher band. Band B3 – 5 marks Firstly I would like to say that the new timetable may have many good points but also a few bad points. Unfortunately you will have to get up early, and will have to have enough energy to do some energetic excersises. Although you will be getting up early, that will result in you having the whole afternoon off. You will have 4 hours of tiring work non-stop, with no break, but then you will have them over and done with so you can relax and enjoy yourself in the afternoon. Furthermore the lessons wouldn’t be spread out so you would be very busy. Although you may think that you won’t be very energetic for the exercise session at 7.20am it may help you to wake up and help you to concentrate more when you are doing your work. However, you will get a fair bit of homework so I think the homework club is an excellent idea. You will be able to get all your homework done, so you have more time to do some sport and other fun things. In conclusion to what I have said so far, I think the new timetable is a fairly good Idea. although you have to get up early, it may result in a few students being late. I hope what I have said has been interesting and worth listening too. Thank you.

37 SENTENCE STRUCTURE & PUNCTUATION TEXT STRUCTURE & ORGANISATION variation in modals (A3) use of comma splice (below A3) paragraphs used to group ideas (B3), but some weaknesses in development and ordering paragraph develops an idea (hungriness) (B3), but focus not entirely sustained (returns to ‘fresh air’ theme) final paragraph emphasises writer’s view and provides conclusion (B3) COMPOSITION & EFFECT Writing persuades by emphasising negative impact of change (wouldn’t have eaten for five and 1 half hours!) (C3), although there is some repetition of points. Writer’s expression of strongly held views suggests concern for situation (C3). Direct address (we, So you see) (C3); rhetorical questions (above C3) consistent with spoken approach; some simple vocabulary used repetitively (food, fresh air) (below C3). . Summary Writing engages with direct address; views are supported with explanation; sustained approach gives evidence for Band C3. Less repetition of ideas and greater use of vocabulary to persuade would be necessary for a higher mark in this band. Band C3 – 7 marks SENTENCE STRUCTURE & PUNCTUATION Summary Sentence variety is created by modals, adverbials and subordination, suggesting Band A3. However, weaknesses in punctuation, including sentence demarcation, limit the award to the lower mark in Band A3. Band A3 – 4 marks adverbial phrase begins sentence (A3) comma supports division within sentence (A3) variation in subjects (A3) questions and an imperative add variety to sentence types (above A3) TEXT STRUCTURE & ORGANISATION Summary Grouping of points, mostly supported by paragraph divisions, allows organisation of whole text and gives evidence for Band B3. More consistent development of ideas within individual paragraphs would be needed for the higher mark in this band. Band B3 – 4 marks sentence boundary ignored (below A3) reference to previous idea helps maintain links (B3) subordination introduces conditional into sentence (A3) There is no reason why we should start school earlier we will be at school for the same amount of time any way. The Registration should take no more than five minutes so our assembly will only be fifteen minutes long! We won’ t fit a lot in fifteen minutes. Usually we would have a story a song and a prayer and we only just manage to fit all that in half an hour. There is no reason why we should change times, all it’s doing is making us go to school earlier! We won’ t get a lot of fresh air there doesn’t seem to be enough time to go outside for a few minutes! The only fresh air we will get is from the sports club and sometimes you don’t have to go outside to do sports! If school closes at 1:30pm that meens most of us won’t get any dinner until about 2:00pm we wouldn’t have eaten for five and 1 half hours! We won’t have enough energy to get through the day. Without fresh air or food we won’t have enough energy to do work and sports and if we get up earlier, we will be tired. If we get homework when are we supposed to do it. We will be spending too much time catching up on food drink and fresh air. And we would probably go to bed earlier to catch up on some sleep. So you see theres no need in doing something if you don’t really need to do it. And we don’t need to change the times and come to school earlier. Everything would be fine if we just stay the way we are. I’ve got a question, why do we need this and why do you want this. Nothing will change. I have to say in my opinion I think everyone would like it if we stuck to our normal times. I’ve given you enough reason now try give us some reasons why you want to change the times or do you agree with everyone else?

38 SENTENCE STRUCTURE & PUNCTUATION TEXT STRUCTURE & ORGANISATION variation in sentence type: imperative (A4) some repetition of sentence opening (below A4) varied reference to the new timetable avoids repetition (B4) developed paragraph: main idea introduced and consistently supported by explanation (B4) less successful idea development weakens paragraph (below B4) – some overlap and repetition of points paragraph development: contrast used to expand topic (B4) COMPOSITION & EFFECT Range of persuasive approaches combined, including enthusiastic direct address (lets make it, you know) and encouragement (you would get used to it) (C4). However, there is some content reiteration. Writer adopts knowledgeable stance (all ready in use in France) and appears convinced of own opinions (C4). Formal style almost always maintained through vocabulary choice (propossed, scheme, figuritvly speaking). Persuasive language interwoven with content (would all ready have got three out of the five parts of the day over with) (C4). Summary Thorough coverage of points combined with a confident, persuasive explanation of views lead to an award in Band C4; less repetition of content would be necessary for the higher mark in this band. Band C4 – 9 marks SENTENCE STRUCTURE & PUNCTUATION Summary Varied sentence structures and types, along with a range of correctly placed punctuation, suggest A4; further variation of sentence openings would be necessary for the higher mark in this band. Band A4 – 6 marks range of punctuation within the sentence: dashes and commas used to enhance meaning (A4) longer, complex constructions used in combination with short, simple sentences and phrases for emphasis (above A4) TEXT STRUCTURE & ORGANISATION Summary Evidence of overall shape and paragraph divisions support grouping of content; more consistency of within-paragraph organisation would be necessary for the higher mark in this band. Band B4 – 6 marks I think that it would be an excellent idea to change the school timetable to the one propossed. It may meen getting up very early in the morning, but after a while you would get used to it! This scheme is all ready in use in France, so now lets make it happen in Britian as well. If we had our Regestration and Assembly in the morning we would know what was going on in that day before it happened. It would mean we would all know what to except. It would take a lot of stress out of our lives as well so we know what to expect in the lessons. Also, we usually sing in assembly, so that would help us to wake up a bit more. The idea of having an excersice session - or P.E or Games - is simply excellent. It would make us a lot more healthy because it is so early. Usually it would have been in the afternoon when we were are all still a bit tired from break time and the other lessons. Also for those who haven’t woken up yet - figuritvly speaking - it would be great to sort them out. I really like the idea of having breakfast in school because it means you could talk to your friends and refresh yourself after that tiring, but fun, exersice session. I especially like the idea of having all the lessons in one big block! Usually you would just be arriving at school now, but if this new timetable was introduced you would all ready have got three out of the five parts of the day over with!! Another good thing about lessons being in one big block is that you get the usual three lessons all together instead of bieng spread out all through the day. If the old school day was kept you would only be half way through it, but if the new one was introduced you would only have one hour to go before you went home. The final part of the day would be the easiest - and the funniest. Sport or Homework club. An excellent way to end the day. So you know the right choice to make. It’s obvious!

39 SENTENCE STRUCTURE & PUNCTUATION TEXT STRUCTURE & ORGANISATION additional words for nuance and emphasis (A4) introductory paragraph establishes context and clarifies purpose of speech (B4) adaptation of verb forms extends scope of time reference (A4): continuous action, passive reference back to previous sentence increases connections and avoids repetition (B4) contrast with previous paragraph is made clear (B4) conclusion given, although opportunity for paragraph division ignored (below B4) COMPOSITION & EFFECT Coverage of points is thorough as consideration is given to both sides of the argument; adaptation evident in selection and emphasis of most appealing points (Not having to do homework at home?), although weakened by brief conclusion (C4). Writer positioned as one of the pupils gives impression of identifying with audience’s concerns (I’m sure that you, like me) (C4). Simple, direct language increases immediacy of speech (as I am doing now); strategic use of emotive adjectives (wonderful, Brilliant) to persuade (C4). Summary Adaptation and effective use of stylistic choices to present the writer’s opinions in an appealing way merit the award of 10 marks; more effective use of conclusion to reinforce points would be necessary for the highest mark in this band. Band C4 – 10 marks SENTENCE STRUCTURE & PUNCTUATION Summary Evidence of a good range of simple and complex structures and verb forms used to extend meaning, together with commas and other punctuation, leads to Band A4; greater use of varied sentence type or word order for effect needed for the higher mark in this band. Band A4 – 7 marks variety of subordinating conjunction (A4) secure and varied use of commas to support meaning (A4) some variation in sentence type used for effect (A4) range of punctuation (A4) includes possessive apostrophe As you will probably know, our school is thinking of making some very big changes to the timetable. We have been asked to talk to you today about our reactions on this new timetable. These are my views. The school would open at 7.00. This is a very early start and would mean pupils having to get up extremly early, especially people like me, who have to catch a bus in the morning. The combined registration and assembly time is only 20 minutes, and since registration takes at least 5 minutes, by the time everone is in the hall, there would only be about 10 minutes for assembly. Therefore we could not talk as fully about things as we do now, and would not be able to have us children speak to you as I am doing now. On the plus side, we have a 40 minute exercise session to wake us up before having our breakfast in the hall. I think this is a wonderful idea and would be nice to have breakfast with your friends, but breakfast should be before Exercise session, registration and assembly, yet still at 8.00. Another thing I like about the new timetable is the fact that instead of 5 hourly lessons, there is only four, and to make up that extra hour there is a sport or homework club. I’m sure that you, like me, love the idea of having a homework club. Not having to do homework at home? Brilliant! There does not seem to be a lunch hour in this new timetable, so you would have to have your lunch after school closed, which would be a very late lunch. Therefore although the new timetable has many good points, I still feel strongly the school’s timetable should stay the way it is. TEXT STRUCTURE & ORGANISATION Summary The structure of the text is clarified for the reader and links are developed within paragraphs, suggesting Band B4. Further consistency of paragraph divisions towards the end would be necessary for the higher mark in this band. Band B4 – 6 marks

40 The handwriting is legible and shows some features of regularity in size and spacing. However, overall the script is disjointed and uneven. Example awarded 1 mark Handwriting examples

41 Overall, the handwriting is regular with some flow and movement. Letters and words are usually appropriate in size and position but there is some variation. Example awarded 2 marks

42 The handwriting is consistent and fluent with letters and words appropriately placed. The handwriting maintains a personal style to engage the reader. Example awarded 3 marks

43 2 Eyewitness Imagine you were walking home from school. You saw a car driver swerve suddenly to avoid a fox. The car went into a tree but the driver was not hurt and neither was the fox. You were the only person who saw the accident, so you have been asked to write a detailed account of what happened. Your task is to complete the accident form. Words and phrases about: ● the car ● the driver ● the fox Before you start, make some notes about what you saw. The shorter task:Eyewitness A scenario of an accident involving a fox and a driver is depicted. The writer is positioned as the only witness of the scene, with the task of completing an accident form to provide a full account. Writing cues support the selection of descriptive vocabulary; the answer page gives the structure of the form. Better performances are distinguished by the inclusion of precise descriptive detail within well-structured sentences, consistency of an informative style and control of the eyewitness’s perspective on events.

44 Mark scheme for the shorter task: Eyewitness Band D1 SECTION DSENTENCE STRUCTURE, PUNCTUATION AND TEXT ORGANISATION Assessment focuses: vary sentences for clarity, purpose and effect write with technical accuracy of syntax and punctuation in phrases, clauses and sentences construct paragraphs and use cohesion within and between paragraphs ● Clauses usually grammatically accurate, mostly joined with and,then,so(and then he saw the fox). Some simple sentences, often a brief sequence starting with subject + verb (The man was old; I heard a car). Some connections between sentences, eg pronouns referring to participants (he ran off). Simple attempts to conclude account (that’s all I can tell you). ● Sentences are sometimes demarcated by capital letters and full stops. 1 mark ● Simple connectives and,but,or,so,when(when a car raced past me) link clauses. Subjects and verbs frequently repeated (car,got). Phrases with simple expansion (a red car, blue tie; very fast, quite fat). Some sentences expanded with simple adverbials (suddenly,slowly) or simple phrases, eg to indicate position (inside the car). Verbs consistently refer to the past; continuous action expressed (was wearing black sunglasses). Events described sequentially; relationship between events sometimes indicated (he beeped the horn but the fox did not move). ● Full stops, capital letters, exclamation and question marks mostly accurate; commas in lists. 2 marks ● Sentences are mostly grammatically sound. Some subordination: because,if(because I had seen a landrover;if there was anyone else). Adverbials (About two minutes later) and expanded noun phrases (a man with orange hair) vary construction of sentences. Expanded phrases used for spatial and time description (into the centre of the road). Some connections in text indicate relationships other than simple sequence: simultaneous events (As it did this, the mercedes came bolting down the road); cause and effect (this resulted in the car swerving). ● Most sentences correctly demarcated; some commas mark phrases or clauses. 3 marks ● Compound and complex sentences used, with varied connectives, eg which,meanwhile,who(which was probably his mother;who was wearing black trousers and a sweatshirt). Expanded phrases and clauses express ideas economically (whereas the speed limit was only 30 mph). Verb forms adapted to refer to a range of points in time. Additional words and phrases (certainly frightened;probably scared) may be included. Organisation supports thorough coverage and emphasis on main ideas; description of events gives shape to the account (a bang, a crash and a shout and then all was quiet). ● Range of punctuation used, almost always correctly, eg brackets, dashes, colons. 4 marks Band D2 Band D3 Band D4

45 Band E1 SECTION ECOMPOSITION AND EFFECT Assessment focuses: write imaginative, interesting and thoughtful texts produce texts which are appropriate to task, reader and purpose ● A short series of points and comments about the incident. Some evaluation (I was amazed). ● Detail sometimes included to expand content (I heard some revving). 1 mark ● A descriptive account; some awareness of audience, eg attempt to set the scene (I was at the kerb about to cross); use of detail (ginger and white fox). ● Writing may attempt to describe events from an objective or detached viewpoint (a fox ran out), and/or there may be evidence of evaluative comment (the driver was lucky). ● Some vocabulary accurately describes participants, events or items (bumper); overall level of formality may be inconsistent, eg a mixture of informal (this old banger) and more formal reference (bonnet). 2–3 marks ● Coverage is balanced, eg includes whole sequence of events. Detail supports purpose of the description (blue Jaguar convertible; black Rover). ● An objective viewpoint is established; a neutral account of evidence is maintained. The witness’s personal views may be evident but do not dominate the account. ● Stylistic choices contribute to descriptive effect, eg verbs for impact (rushed,screeched); form of address (official, note-style:lots of rings,short hair); use of reported not direct speech. 4–5 marks ● Description provides clarification for reader (crumpled the front(the bonnet)); thorough coverage of events; detail aptly selected for purpose. ● The writer’s viewpoint is consistent and controlled, eg responsible and informed attitude suggested; writer’s position may suggest distance through tentative comments (he seemed a little red faced). ● Stylistic features suited to account’s purpose, eg there may be formal or technical vocabulary (suffered minor head injuries,incident) and/or vivid description of scene. 6–7 marks ● Readership informs choice and placing of content, eg the writer prioritises information relevant to the accident. ● Viewpoint well controlled and convincing, eg writer portrayed as a reliable and observant witness. ● Range of stylistic features manipulated to fully support purpose and inform audience, eg consistent use of official language or specific terminology (poor response time); selection of descriptive vocabulary to appeal to the senses/enhance description of the scene. 8 marks Band E2 Band E3 Band E4 Band E5

46 18:00 Time of Accident 7/12/02 Date of Accident What happened Well, I was walking home from a bad day at school when I head a sqwel that come from a heghe. I bent down to look and I saw five baby fox’s! So I carried on home to tell my mum (shes a animal doter). I was about half way when a car came zooming past me (going about 60-70 mph.) I carried on walking when I heard a crash the car had swerved out of the way of a fox! The car was red and small. I run to see if the diver was ok. He was and so was the fox, but the car was unfrountert. The fox, old ran up the road not relising what had happend. SENTENCE STRUCTURE PUNCTUATION & TEXT ORGANISATION noun phrase with simple expansion (D2) relationship between events indicated (D2) sentences start repetitively (D2) accurate use of exclamation mark (D2) COMPOSITION & EFFECT Some description of the car (red and small), but other detail (a bad day) does not always support the informative purpose of the account (E2). Attempts to establish an objective view of the scene (saw five baby fox’s!) are somewhat limited by the emphasis on the eyewitness’s role in the incident (E2). Account includes a mixture of informal, conversational language (Well, ok) and more formal abbreviation (mph). There are some attempts to describe sounds with precision (sqwel, zooming, crash) (E2). Summary The inclusion of some relevant detail supported by some descriptive vocabulary choices provides evidence for Band E2; however, greater emphasis on information relating to the fox or driver, rather than the eyewitness, would be necessary for the higher mark in this band. Band E2 – 2 marks SENTENCE STRUCTURE, PUNCTUATION & TEXT ORGANISATION Summary Despite some insecure use of tense (come, run), sentence structures include evidence of simply expanded phrases and some development to clarify the order of events. These features, combined with mostly accurate sentence demarcation, lead to an award of 2 marks. Band D2 – 2 marks simple phrase to describe (D2) simple phrase to indicate position (D2)

47 3.25pm Time of Accident 4th November 03 Date of Accident SENTENCE STRUCTURE PUNCTUATION & TEXT ORGANISATION continuous action expressed through verbs (D2) events expressed mainly as a simple sequence (D2) position indicated by simple phrase (D2) evidence of accurate sentence demarcation (D2) inconsistent capitalisation (below D2) COMPOSITION & EFFECT Some attempt to present detail of event sequence (called for help, phoned the police); some explanation for audience (to make sour It was not hurt) (E2). Writer mostly describes what happened from an objective position (a tree, The driver), with occasional comment suggesting writer’s attitude (unforchently, hopfully) (E2). Some vocabulary choices are specific, supporting an accurate depiction of events (bash, stepped), but other references are very general (the car, the fox) (E2). Summary Although the use of detail is not consistent, there is evidence of a simple but relevant account of events to inform the audience. There is sufficient evidence of a detached viewpoint to merit the higher mark in the band. Band E2 – 3 marks SENTENCE STRUCTURE, PUNCTUATION & TEXT ORGANISATION Summary Use of simple connectives to link a basic sequence of events, varied by occasional expansion and inclusion of phrases to show position, leads to the award of 2 marks. Mostly accurate sentence demarcation supports the award of this mark. Band D2 – 2 marks simple connective (D2) repetition of subject (D2) limited expansion of noun phrase (D2) What happened A fox was slowly walking across the road then the driver came speeding down the road. The car tried to swerve away from the fox but bash into a tree. As the driver was ok he stepped out of the car to see if the fox was all right. But unforchently the car was badly damaged. The driver tried to catch the fox to make sour It was not hurt. The man called for help I went over and took the man home. The man phoned the police to let them know what happend. The man gave them a ruth detail of he was speeding. hopfully the man and the fox was not hurt.

48 3.25pm Time of Accident 4th November 03 Date of Accident SENTENCE STRUCTURE PUNCTUATION & TEXT ORGANISATION sentence developed by subordination (D3) a variety of relationships between different events are indicated (D3) adverbial varies sentence construction (D3) attempts to use commas to separate parts of sentences (D3) some sentence demarcation ignored (below D3) COMPOSITION & EFFECT Several details support the purpose of the account; coverage includes different stages of the changing scene (fog of smoke / smoke lifted) and reaction of the driver (very shaken) (E3). Writer gives the impression of a detached observer; personal opinions (terrible, to my suprise) are evident but are not the focus of the account (E3). Some descriptive words are carefully chosen for effect (screeching, squeeling); formal style apparent in description of car (tyres, bumbers, bonnet), although not completely sustained (a writeof) (E3). Summary This piece presents a fairly comprehensive account of the incident, including detail about how events unfolded and the consequences for the driver, car and fox. To gain a higher mark in this band, greater consistency of style would be necessary. Band E3 – 4 marks SENTENCE STRUCTURE, PUNCTUATION & TEXT ORGANISATION Summary Although there are some inconsistencies in punctuation, there is sufficient evidence of developed sentence structure and organisation of content just to merit the award of 3 marks. Band D3 – 3 marks expanded noun phrase used to convey description (D3) What happened I was walking along the road when I heard a terrible noise from far of it’s like the sound of screeching and squeeling tyres. Suddenly I saw a fox running of unhurt, but now a car came of the road and left a fog of smoke and a disturbing bang. The next thing that happend was that the smoke lifted and the car of the door opend, to my suprise I saw a unhurt dazed young man. He was very shaken, and of most annoyed of the wreck of the car. The car was in a much worse state, the bumbers bent, and the bonnet was in the cab! in fact it was a writeof. simply for the man he just walked off.

. . . . . .