[PDF] 2008 Key Stage 2 Year 6 - English Reading Writing and Spelling Test Levels 3-5 Mark Schemes.pdf | Plain Text

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First published in 2008 © Qualifications and Curriculum Authority 2008 ISBN 1-84721-508-4 Reproduction, storage, adaptation or translation, in any form or by any means, of this publication is prohibited without prior written permission of the publisher, unless within the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency. Excerpts may be reproduced for the purpose of research, private study, criticism or review, or by educational institutions solely for educational purposes, without permission, provided full acknowledgement is given. Produced in Great Britain by the Qualifications and Curriculum Authority under the authority and superintendence of the Controller of Her Majesty’s Stationery Office and Queen’s Printer of Acts of Parliament. The Qualifications and Curriculum Authority is an exempt charity under Schedule 2 of the Charities Act 1993. Qualifications and Curriculum Authority 83 Piccadilly London W1J 8QA www.qca.org.uk QCA wishes to make its publications widely accessible. Please contact us if you have any specific accessibility requirements. 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page ifc2

Contents Introduction 3 The reading test 5 The writing test 27 The spelling test 56 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 1

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3 Introduction As in previous years, the external marking agency, under contract to QCA, will mark the test papers. The markers will follow the mark schemes in this booklet, which are provided here to inform teachers. The booklet includes the mark schemes for the assessment of reading, writing and spelling. For ease of reference, the test questions have been reproduced in the mark schemes. Level threshold tables will be posted on the NAA website, www.naa.org.uk/tests, on Monday 23 June. The marks in the tests are allocated as follows: Reading 50 Writing 50 Longer task (including handwriting) 31 Shorter task 12 Spelling 7 Total 100 The mark schemes were devised after trialling the tests with pupils and contain examples of some frequently occurring correct answers given in the trials. The mark schemes indicate the criteria on which judgements should be made. In areas of uncertainty, however, markers should exercise professional judgement based on the training they have received. The same sets of assessment focuses for reading and writing have been used for the English tasks and tests at all key stages. These provide information about the particular processes or skills the pupil needs in order to answer the questions. This information is provided in order to explain the structure of each mark scheme as well as the way in which it will be used by external markers. The assessment focuses are drawn from the national curriculum and are directly related to the Primary National Strategy. The 2008 key stage 2 English tests and mark schemes were produced by the key stage 2 English team at the National Foundation for Educational Research (NFER) on behalf of QCA. 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 3

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5 The reading test The range of marks available for each question is given under the mark box at the side of the page in theReading Answer Booklet. Incorrect or unacceptable answers are given a mark of 0. No half marks are awarded. There are several different answer formats: ■ short answers These may be only a word or phrase, and 1 markmay be awarded for each correct response. ■ several line answers These may be phrases or a sentence or two, and up to 2 marksmay be awarded. ■ longer answers These require a more detailed explanation of the pupil’s opinion, and up to 3 marksmay be awarded. ■ other answers Some responses do not involve writing and the requirements are explained in the question. The mark scheme was devised after trialling the tests with pupils and contains examples (these are shown in italics) of some frequently occurring correct answers given in the trials. Many pupils will, however, have different ways of wording an acceptable answer. In assessing each answer, markers must focus on the content of what has been written and not on the quality of the writing, expression or grammatical construction, etc. Assessment focuses for reading The aspects of reading to be assessed are pupils’ ability to: 1. use a range of strategies, including accurate decoding of text, to read for meaning 2. understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas from texts and use quotation and reference to text 3. deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts 4. identify and comment on the structure and organisation of texts, including grammatical and presentational features at text level 5. explain and comment on writers’ use of language, including grammatical and literary features at word and sentence level 6. identify and comment on writers’ purposes and viewpoints, and the overall effect of the text on the reader 7. relate texts to their social, cultural and historical contexts and literary traditions. 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 5

6 How the reading mark scheme is set out 10.When Garnet’s mother heard that they had received bills in the post, she only said: ‘Oh’. What do you think the mother was thinking at that point on page 5? Write her thoughts in this thought bubble. up to 2 marks Assessment focus 3: deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (complex inference). Acceptable points: ■ money / crop / weather concerns ■ the effect on other members of the family ■ hiding the bills. Award 2 marksfor a negative reaction with some expansion referring to two of the points above, eg: ● oh no, bills! We won’t be able to pay them if it doesn’t rain. Garnet’s father will be up all night trying to make it all work out ● oh no what am I going to do. I don’t wish to worry my husband. I wish it would rain then all our problems would be over. Award 1 markfor a negative reaction (which may be implicit) with little or no expansion, eg: ● oh not more bills. Couldn’t they have come when the crops have grown? ● oh bills again, that’s all we ever receive. If only it would just rain ● if our crops don’t start growing, we won’t have any more to pay these bills ● oh no, not more bills ● oh no, what shall I do? ● oh I don’t want any more bills. I’m fed up with these bills. Accept answers which are not written in the first person. Do not acceptreferences to father’s violent anger / anger expressed to family. aspect of reading assessed by this question criteria for the award of 2 marks examples of responses produced in the trials and 2 marks awarded examples of responses produced in the trials and 1 mark awarded to gain maximum marks, responses must refer to one or more of these points further advice to markers criteria for the award of 1 mark responses which may occur quite frequently but do not merit any marks 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 6

7 Deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from textsIdentify and comment on the structure and organisation of texts, including grammatical and presentational features at text levelExplain and comment on writers’ use of language, including grammatical and literary features at word and sentence levelIdentify and comment on writers’ purposes and viewpoints, and the overall effect of the text on the reader The following table identifies the questions (with marks available) that address each assessment focus (AF): Assessment focus 1 underlies the reading of and response to the text and questions in the test, and is not explicitly separately assessed at key stage 2. Not all focuses will be appropriate to, or appear in, any one test at any given level. Focus AF2 AF3 AF4 AF5 AF6 AF7 Understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas from texts and use quotation and reference to textRelate texts to their social, cultural and historical contexts and literary traditions Section 1: The Hottest Day Q1 1 Q2 1 Q3 1 Q4 1 Q5 1 Q6 1 Q7 2 Q8 1 Q9 2 Q10 2 Q11 2 Q12 1 Q132 Q14 3 Q151 Q16 1 Section 2: Poems Q17 1 Q18 2 Q19 2 Q20 1 Q21 1 Q221 Q233 Section 3: Rain and Shine – in Britain Q24a 1 Q24b 2 Q25 1 Q26 3 Q27a 1 Q27b 1 Q28 1 Q29 1 Section 4: The whole booklet Q301 Q31 1 Q323 Total 12 16 6 5 10 1 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 7

8 Section 1: The Hottest Day Page 4 hot cold wet mild 1.The girl, Garnet, looked up at the sky on that 2.It had not rained for weeks and that made Garnet Questions 1 – 5 Assessment focus 2:understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas from texts and use quotation and reference to text. Question 6 Assessment focus 3:deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (simple inference). Award 1 markfor each correct choice. 3.She went to collect the mail with her neighbour, a girl calledmorning. hopeful. angry. tired. happy. Garnet. Citronella. Donald. Precious. 4.However, the letters in the mailbox were not real ones. They were business letters. postcards. bills. newsletters. 5.Back at the house, Garnet’s mother decided to 6.Garnet helped to get supper ready but everyone was too hot to eat. They all went to bed. Later on that night, she was woken up by the sound of thunder and then heard the wind blow. lightning. rain fall. crying. open the letters. answer the letters. hide the letters. give the letters to father quickly. 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 8

9 8.On page 5, Garnet and Citronella talked about their daydreams. What did their daydreams have in common with Garnet’s dream on page 7? 1 mark Assessment focus 3:deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (complex inference). Award 1 markfor answers that identify a similarity between the daydreams and Garnet’s dream, eg: ● there’s lots of water in it ● their dreams are both about water ● they made you cool / they both wanted it to be cold ● they were about things that you would like on a hot day. Do not accept reference to rainfall, eg: ● it rained / there was rain in both of them. Do not accept answers in which the (day)dreams are retold without drawing out the common factors linking them, eg: ● in the daydreams they wanted lemonade and to be up a mountain and in the dream she was rowing on the ocean. 7.Explain fully why Garnet wanted it to rain. up to 2 marks Assessment focus 3:deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (complex inference). Award 1 markfor each issue covered, to a maximum of 2marks: ■ physical relief, eg: it was too hot / to cool down ■ effect on environment, eg: the crops will grow / the corn needed water / the crops were dying ■ financial relief, eg:to save the family from financial problems ■ relief from anxiety, eg: everyone would stop worrying. Do not accept: ● so that they could eat again ● because it had not rained. Page 5 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 9

10 Page 5 (continued) 9.Citronella said: ‘I’ve got to get back to my precious ironing board.’ How can you tell that she really did not like ironing? up to 2 marks Assessment focus 5:explain and comment on writers’ use of language, including grammatical and literary features at word and sentence level. Award 2 marksfor answers which refer to the ironic use of the word precious, eg: ● she was being sarcastic / she meant the opposite of what she said ● because when she said ‘precious’ she meant it in a ‘sarcy’ way ● because it wasn’t precious, it was a horrible job she had to do. Award 1 markfor answers which refer to her manner of speech or draw attention to the word precious, eg: ● she said it grimly / grumpily ● she sounded sulky ● the way she said ‘my precious ironing board’ ● she said ‘got to’ ● she uses the word precious. Do not acceptreferences to crossness / melting on the floor like butter (ie references to the top of the page), eg: ● she said it crossly ● she said ‘a fine thing to do on a day like this’. 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 10

10.When Garnet’s mother heard that they had received bills in the post, she only said: ‘Oh’. What do you think the mother was thinking at that point on page 5? Write her thoughts in this thought bubble. up to 2 marks Assessment focus 3: deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (complex inference). Acceptable points: ■ money / crop / weather concerns ■ the effect on other members of the family ■ hiding the bills. Award 2 marksfor a negative reaction with some expansion referring to two of the points above, eg: ● oh no, bills! We won’t be able to pay them if it doesn’t rain. Garnet’s father will be up all night trying to make it all work out ● oh no what am I going to do. I don’t wish to worry my husband. I wish it would rain then all our problems would be over. Award 1 markfor a negative reaction (which may be implicit) with little or no expansion, eg: ● oh not more bills. Couldn’t they have come when the crops have grown? ● oh bills again, that’s all we ever receive. If only it would just rain ● if our crops don’t start growing, we won’t have any more to pay these bills ● oh no, not more bills ● oh no, what shall I do? ● oh I don’t want any more bills. I’m fed up with these bills. Accept answers which are not written in the first person. Do not acceptreferences to father’s violent anger / anger expressed to family. 11 Page 6 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 11

12.‘What a day!’ … ‘One more like this –’ Why did Garnet’s father leave this sentence on page 7 unfinished? 1 mark Assessment focus 3: deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (complex inference). Award 1 markfor answers which reveal an understanding of the father’s possible motives, such as: ■ not wanting to spread his fears / aggravate a bad situation, eg: he didn’t want to upset the children ■ not wanting to think about / discuss the matter, eg: he didn’t want to talk about it ■ knowing that the family probably realises what he is about to say, eg: they know what he would say. Do not acceptanswers which attribute the father’s motive to anger. 12 11 .In the cold room, Garnet shivered when she dipped her arms in the water. Why? up to 2 marks Assessment focus 3: deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (complex inference). Award 2 marksfor answers which explain the physical shock of the contrast between the heat and the cold water or which focus on reactions other than physical, eg: ● it was so pleasant to feel suddenly cold ● the water was icy cold and she was boiling hot so she shivered with happiness ● a shiver of pleasure / delight / relief ● because the water was cold and she was hot and so it made her shiver because her body was changing temperature fast ● she had not felt the cold for a long time so she shivered because she was used to the heat. Do not acceptfor 2 marks answers that are very close to the original text. Award 1 markfor answers which focus only on one side of the contrast between the coldness of the water and the heat or supply a simple contrast, eg: ● because the water was really cold ● Garnet was very hot ● because the water would be freezing cold because Garnet was in the cold room ● it was cold and she had been in the sun ● she was hot and the water was cold. Page 6 (continued) 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 12

13 Page 7 13.It was too hot to eat. Why is this short sentence on page 7 so effective? up to 2 marks Assessment focus 6:identify and comment on writers’ purposes and viewpoints and the overall effect of the text on the reader. Award 2 marksfor answers referring to authorial intent to achieve one of the following effects, eg: ■ summaryof the effect of the heat, eg: ● it’s quickly telling you what everyone feels ● that sentence sums up the feeling of the whole day ■ pathos, eg: ● underlines how miserable they all are ● it was sad that they thought they could all have dinner and then they couldn’t ■ irony, eg: ● it shows that Mother and Garnet thought they would save their father from being upset but they didn’t. Award 1 markfor answers referring to the author’s purpose to convey the heat, eg: ● it makes you think it’s really hot ● it tells you how hot it is. Do not acceptexplanations for the loss of appetite, eg: ● because it must be really hot if someone doesn’t want to eat their dinner ● when it’s so hot you don’t feel like eating. 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 13

14 Page 7 (continued) 14.What do you think will happen after the rain comes? Explain your answer fully. up to 3 marks Assessment focus 3:deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (complex inference). Acceptable points: ■ physical relief, eg:it was finally going to cool down ■ psychological relief, eg: all their worries would be over ■ effect on environment, eg: the harvest was to be saved ■ financial relief, eg: the family was saved from financial problems. Award 3 marksfor answers which include reference to three of the possible outcomes listed above in an assessment of the rain’s impact on the family, eg: ● after the rain comes, I think it will cool down, the crops will grow and there will be a harvest. They’ll sell the crops and pay the bills ● joy, happiness and gladness. Joy because the father could make some money. Happiness because it had been really, really hot. Glad because it had finally rained after all the waiting. Award 2 marksfor answers which include reference to at least two of the points indicated above, eg: ● it could be just in time to save the crops and if that happens then they won’t go bankrupt ● the crops will start to grow after the rain and Garnet’s father can sell some of the best crops for money. Then, when he has the money, he will be able to pay off his bills. Award 1 markfor answers which cover only one point, eg: ● the crops won’t die, but will recover and it will be alright ● the family will go outside and just sit there because they’ve been so hot over the past weeks and it would cool them down. Do not acceptreasoned speculations which are not covered by the points above, eg: ● I think it will rain for one day and then it will be boiling for another week as in the beginning paragraph ● I think that they will have too much rain and it will ruin the crops that her father was going to sell and they will get waterlogged. They will still have to be careful with how they spend their money. 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 14

15.How can you tell this story was set a long time ago? 1 mark Assessment focus 7:relate texts to their social, cultural and historical contexts and literary traditions. Award 1 markif both correct answers are ticked. Citronella did the ironing they used candles in the bedrooms they stored food in a cold room Donald played at being a train they received bills 15 ✓ ✓ Ticktwo. 16.Match the events below to show what purpose they have in the story. The first one has been done for you. 1 mark Assessment focus 4:identify and comment on the structure and organisation of texts, including grammatical and presentational features at text level. Award 1 markfor three correctly matched pairs. Event Shows the reader Event Shows the reader Page 8 no rain for weeks the situation gets worse a bad start the family’s problems seem to be over the bills arrive Garnet dreams of being on the ocean a sign that things may improve the rain comes 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 15

16 18.What did the poet do while it was raining? Write down twothings. up to 2 marks Assessment focus 2:understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas from texts and use quotation and reference to text. Award 1 markeach for any two activities taken from the poem, up to a maximum of 2 marks: ■ plays games ■ draws a fish ■ looks out of window / watches the rain (with his fist under his chin) ■ just sits there ■ stays inside ■ talks to grandad ■ manages a grin / puts fist under chin. Do not accept: ● he wrote a poem. 17.Tick twobad effects of the rain in the first poem: 1 mark Assessment focus 3:deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (simple inference). Award 1 markif both correct answers are ticked. keeps you indoors water falls on the dustbin dulls your imagination your hair gets wet the air cools down Section 2: Poems Page 9 ✓ ✓ Ticktwo. 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 16

17 Page 9 (continued) 19.In each verse, all the lines end with the same rhyme. How does this add to the meaning of the poem? up to 2 marks Assessment focus 4:identify and comment on the structure and organisation of texts, including grammatical and presentational features at text level. Award 2 marksfor answers which associate the repetition of the rhyme with the endlessness of the rain, the boredom of the poet or the tedium of the day, eg: ● it just repeated the endings again and again just like the rain ● this shows that the rain went on for a long time because it was rhyming the same way for a long time ● it makes it seem the rain goes on forever because the rhyming does as well ● to make the poem seem dull just like the rain ● it makes the reader feel that the boy in the poem is miserable because all of the words he uses sound the same ● it makes you get the idea of what doing the same thing over and over feels like. Award 1 markfor answers relating to the dulling effect of the rhyme on the poem, eg: ● it feels even more miserable ● it’s the same so it makes it into a more boring poem. 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 17

20.Why does the poet think rain is beautiful? 1 mark Assessment focus 5: explain and comment on writers’ use of language, including grammatical and literary features at word and sentence level. Award 1 markfor an understanding that the rain is a relief, eg: ● it has been hot / dusty ● it cools everything down ● it’s refreshing ● there has been no rain for such a long time. 22.What is the main purpose of the second verse of the poem? 1 mark Assessment focus 6: identify and comment on writers’ purposes and viewpoints, and the overall effect of the text on the reader. Award 1 markif the correct answer is ticked. to create a picture of the way rain moves to show how rain can work with heat to make the reader feel miserable to show the effect of rain on people’s lives 18 Page 10 ✓ Tickone. 21.Why do you think the poet chooses the words clattersand tramp of hoofs to describe the sound of the rain? 1 mark Assessment focus 5:explain and comment on writers’ use of language, including grammatical and literary features at word and sentence level. Award 1 markfor answers which refer to the force or volume of the rain, eg: ● because the rain is loud / heavy / hard ● it’s hitting the roofs. 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 18

19 Page 11 23.Explain how each poet gives a different feeling about the rain. You will need to think about: ● the effect of rain on the writer ● how the rain is described. up to 3 marks Assessment focus 6:identify and comment on writers’ purposes and viewpoints, and the overall effect of the text on the reader. Award 3 marksfor answers that compare the two poems, making valid contrasts both about the poet’s impressions (or effect on reader) and the language used to describe the rain in both poems, eg: ● in the first, the writer does not like the rain. He finds it dull, damp, grey and sodden and he doesn’t like being kept inside. In the second, he loves the rain; he finds it ‘beautiful’ after all the heat ● Brian Lee sees rain as miserable and shows how it stops people from doing things like games. Longfellow thinks rain is good because it gives water. He describes it as beautiful and welcome. Brian Lee as grey ● the first poem makes you feel depressed and it makes you think rain is bad, boring and miserable: ‘sodden leaks, grey, damp, smother.’ The second poem makes you feel happy and it makes you think that rain is beautiful: ‘clatter, tramps, beautiful, roars, swift, gushes.’ Award 2 marksfor answers that see a difference of opinion about the rain and make at least one specific contrast involving any one of the following points: ■ welcome / unwelcome rain ■ positive / negative vocabulary ■ effect on author / reader: happiness / misery ■ cite contrasting quotations ■ reason for effect on author / reader: endless rain / long-awaited rain. For example: ● they each think differently. One likes the rain, one does not. The writer who has written ‘Rain’ probably often gets rain and never gets sun, while the other writer is the opposite and the writer who has written ‘Rain in Summer’ has probably had a long drought and thinks it’s wonderful to see rain again while the other one is just bored with the rain ● in the first poem, the effect of the rain makes you feel miserable and dull. It’s described as if there are no good things to do but in the other one, it’s exciting and a relief ● in the ‘Rain’ poem it says ‘it’s grey outside, inside me it’s grey’ but in ‘Rain in Summer’ it says ‘How beautiful is the rain!’ Award 1 markfor answers that make a simple negative / positive contrast between the two poems, eg: ● in one poem the poet likes the rain, in the other he did not ● because they both have different things happening. One likes it, the other doesn’t. 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 19

24. Look at the weather forecast for Friday 16th May. a) At what time of day will it be the hottest? 1 mark Assessment focus 3:deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (simple inference). Award 1 markfor: ■ 18.00 / 6 o’clock / 6 pm. Also accept: 18 / 6 b) Find twoways this chart has been made easy to read. up to 2 marks Assessment focus 4:identify and comment on the structure and organisation of texts, including grammatical and presentational features at text level. Award 1 markfor each appropriate point made to a maximum of 2marks: ■ use of symbols / icons / pictures ■ chronological order [not‘time of day’] ■ no difficult vocabulary / little written text ■ use of columns / information spaced out / in sections ■ use of colour. 20 25.Why does the forecast show the weather at several different times on Friday? 1 mark Assessment focus 3:deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (simple inference). Award 1 markfor answers that indicate that the weather changes during the day, eg: ● because it changes ● different weather at different times of the day ● to help you plan your day ● so you can see the weather throughout the day. Page 12 Section 3: Rain and Shine – in Britain 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 20

21 Page 12 (continued) Heaviest rainfall in a year 1954 Place Record Year Walshaw Dean Lodge Heaviest downpour 1989 Braemar Lowest temperature / coldest place / coldest day 1982 Brogdale Highest temperature / hottest place / hottest day 2003 Sprinkling Tarn or Cumbria Sussex Longest drought 1893 26.Complete the table below, showing where and when weather records were set. up to 3 marks Assessment focus 2:understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas from texts and use quotation and reference to text. Award 3 marksfor six cells correctly completed. Award 2 marksfor four or five cells correctly completed. Award 1 markfor three cells correctly completed. 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 21

22 Page 13 Walshaw Dean Lodge, West Yorkshire,holds the record for the heaviest downpour. On 19th May 1989, 193mm fell in just 2 hours. This is the amount of water collected by the weather station rain gauge. It is estimated, however, that 500 million litres of water can fall from a single thunderstorm. 27. a) Copy the oneword which shows that we do not know exactly how much water falls in a thunderstorm. 1 mark Assessment focus 2:understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas from texts and use quotation and reference to text. Award 1 markfor: ■ estimated. b) Copy the information that shows that an exact measurement was taken. 1 mark Assessment focus 2:understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas from texts and use quotation and reference to text. Award 1 markfor: ■ 193mm (accept errors in copying, eg193 m / 193ml) ■ 193 ■ mm. Also accept: ■ weather station ■ rain gauge ■ record. 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 22

28.For Sussex, the writer could have written there was no rainbut instead wrote: ... not a single drop of rain fell. Why do you think he wrote it in this way? 1 mark Assessment focus 5:explain and comment on writers’ use of language, including grammatical and literary features at word and sentence level. Award 1 markfor answers to do with emphasis on the lack of rain, eg: ● because it is a more descriptive way of saying there was absolutely no rain ● it sounds more precise ● to make it sound even drier. Also award 1 markfor answers which recognise the writer’s deliberate choice of words for dramatic effect, eg: ● to make it sound dramatic / shocking / desperate ● it sounds more powerful than just saying there was no rain ● this gives more impact ● to make it seem really bad. Do not acceptstandard answers which are not specific to this text, eg: ● to make it sound more descriptive / interesting / effective / realistic / exciting ● to create a picture in your head / an atmosphere ● to get the message across. 29.In the fact boxes on page 10, some of the text stands out because it is in boldprint. Why is it printed in bold? 1 mark Assessment focus 4:identify and comment on the structure and organisation of texts, including grammatical and presentational features at text level. Award 1 markfor answers that relate the bold print to the content of the emboldened text, eg: ● because it’s the name of the place ● because it’s where the record was set ● because that’s what that paragraph is about. Also acceptanswers indicating that bold print is used to guide the reader through the text, eg: ● to show where to go in the text. Do not acceptanswers that relate only to emphasis, eg: ● because they are important facts / words. 23 Page 13 (continued) 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 23

24 30.Some of the texts in this booklet show rain as ‘good’; others show that rain is ‘bad’. Put one tick on each line to show the writer’s view of rain. 1 mark Assessment focus 6:identify and comment on writers’ purposes and viewpoints, and the overall effect of the text on the reader. Award 1 mark if all four answers are correctly ticked. Section 4: The whole booklet Page 14 Text Rain is good Rain is bad No opinion The Hottest Day – story ✓ Rain – poem ✓ Rain in Summer – poem ✓ Rain and Shine – in Britain – information ✓ 31.Look at all the places on pages 10 and 11. Which place could have given the idea for the poem Rainon page 8? Explain your choice. 1 mark Assessment focus 3:deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (simple inference). Award 1 markfor answers that identify Sprinkling Tarn / Cumbria andrecognise the duration of the rainfall or the quantity of rain that falls there, eg: ● Sprinkling Tarn because there’s lots of rain there ● the place in Cumbria because it holds the rainfall record ● [Sprinkling Tarn] because the rain goes on and on / day after day ● [Cumbria] there was lots of rain for quite a while. OR award 1 markfor answers that identify Walshaw Dean Lodge / West Yorkshire andrecognise the quantity of rain that falls there, eg: ● Walshaw Dean Lodge because it is the heaviest downfall ● West Yorkshire because there was a very heavy downpour. 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 24

25 Page 15 32.In this country many of us dislike rain. Which of the texts in this booklet could make people have a more positive view of rain? Tick the oneyou have chosen. The Hottest Day– story Rain in Summer– poem Rain and Shine– in Britain– information Explain why you think this text might make people have a good opinion of rain. up to 3 marks Assessment focus 6:identify and comment on writers’ purposes and viewpoints, and the overall effect of the text on the reader. Award 3 marksfor explanations of the positive impact of the text on the reader with reference to at least two different aspects of the text, eg: ● the story shows how much people depend on water not just for drinking but for their whole way of life. The writer makes the reader as desperate for the rain as Garnet was ● [The Hottest Day] they will be thankful that they probably won’t ever be in that situation. They will realise how bad it is not to have rain and will think about all the problems it could cause with growing food and having money ● [The Hottest Day] because it shows that rain saved the family from eviction, death, bankruptcy. Surely they must like the rain after that ● [Rain in Summer]it describes how the rain is beautiful and the way it moves. It tells you that the rain is cool on the fiery streets and that it is welcome on the earth. Award 2 marksfor explanations of the positive impact of the text on the reader with reference to one aspect of the text, eg: ● I think ‘Rain in Summer’ would make people positive about rain because in the poem it describes rain as beautiful and it has a really positive view on rain ● [The Hottest Day]because it shows you that when you are hot and you’ve got no rain, that’s when you want it ● [Rain in Summer] because it makes you feel like you are in summer but it’s raining and it makes you feel like you want to be there with the rain coming down ● [Rain and Shine – in Britain]this piece of information shows if there is no rain it can change your way of life, in a bad way, so people after reading this will think that rain is actually quite good. Award 1 markfor identifying one (or more) positive aspect(s) of rain from the chosen text or for a very general statement about the impact of the text, eg: ● it says good things about the rain / makes the rain sound cheery ● the rain made the crops grow. 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 25

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27 The writing test There are two mark schemes, one for the longer task Pip Davenport (pages 30–33); the other for the shorter task Memories of the School Year(pages 48 – 49). Assessment focuses for writing The aspects of writing to be assessed are pupils’ ability to: 1. write imaginative, interesting and thoughtful texts 2. produce texts which are appropriate to task, reader and purpose 3. organise and present whole texts effectively, sequencing and structuring information, ideas and events 4. construct paragraphs and use cohesion within and between paragraphs 5. vary sentences for clarity, purpose and effect 6. write with technical accuracy of syntax and punctuation in phrases, clauses and sentences 7. select appropriate and effective vocabulary (this is not assessed separately, but contributes to text structure and organisation and composition and effect) 8. use correct spelling (assessed through the spelling test). The mark scheme strands For the purpose of marking the writing, related assessment focuses have been drawn together into three strands: ■ sentence structure and punctuation ■ text structure and organisation ■ composition and effect. For the longer task, the strands are organised as follows. Handwriting is assessed in the longer task. The marking criteria are shown in section F on page 33. Assessment focuses ■ sentence structure and – vary sentences for clarity, purpose and effect punctuation – write with technical accuracy of syntax and punctuation in phrases, clauses and sentences. ■ text structure and – organise and present whole texts effectively, sequencing organisation and structuring information, ideas and events – construct paragraphs and use cohesion within and between paragraphs. ■ composition and effect – write imaginative, interesting and thoughtful texts – produce texts which are appropriate to task, reader and purpose. 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 27

28 For the shorter task, the strands are organised as follows. The criteria encourage positive recognition of achievement in writing. Pupils do not necessarily develop uniformly across these categories, and the strands allow separate judgements to be made about the relative strengths and weaknesses of a pupil’s work. Marking procedures The criteria for each strand identify typical characteristics of pupils’ work in different bands. When marking, it is helpful first to identify which bands are most relevant to the writing and then refine the judgement to a mark within a band. The annotations on the example scripts show how to look for features in the writing, and the summary boxes show how to weigh these features to reach a mark. Where the writing clearly does not meet the criteria for Band 1, a mark of 0 should be awarded. Pupils will be expected to follow the prompt very carefully, especially in content and form. Pupils whose writing is unrelated to the prompt will not be credited with any marks for composition and effect. Those pupils who do not maintain the form throughout the piece, for example a non-fiction piece becoming narrative, will not have access to the full range of marks for composition and effect. Marking the writing A set of annotated scripts, written by year 6 pupils during the English pre-tests, is presented here to help your judgements of the writing. Scripts are reproduced without corrections to spelling. Assessment focuses ■ sentence structure, – vary sentences for clarity, purpose and effect punctuation and text – write with technical accuracy of syntax and punctuation organisation in phrases, clauses and sentences – construct paragraphs and use cohesion within and between paragraphs. ■ composition and effect – write imaginative, interesting and thoughtful texts – produce texts which are appropriate to task, reader and purpose. 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 28

29 The longer task:Pip Davenport In this prompt, pupils are invited to imagine Pip Davenport, a famous funfair ride inventor from the past. The task is to write a biography of Pip Davenport, with information about his inventions. An illustrated outline of Pip’s life provides support for content and organisation; the prompt also makes it clear that pupils are free to develop their own ideas imaginatively from this starting point. The planning page offers further help with the development of detail about Pip’s character, life and inventions. Better performances are distinguished by effective adaptation of content and maintenance of style to produce an engaging and informative account, together with a text structure that allows for the inclusion of the biographer’s comments or reflections within the overall chronology of a life story. 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 29

30 Band A1 ● Clauses usually grammatically accurate. Some simple sentences, often brief, starting with a pronoun + verb (he went to school). Clauses mostly joined with and, but, then, so. ● Sentences sometimes demarcated by capital letters and full stops. 1 mark Mark scheme for the longer task: Pip Davenport SECTION ASENTENCE STRUCTURE AND PUNCTUATION Assessment focuses: vary sentences for clarity, purpose and effect write with technical accuracy of syntax and punctuation in phrases, clauses and sentences ● Subjects and verbs often simple and frequently repeated; verbs mostly past tense (went,was,had). Simple connectives and,but,then,so,whenlink clauses. Some sentence variation created, eg by use of adverbial words or phrases (Once or twice). Noun phrases mostly simple (his son,the street) with some limited expansion (a young boy). ● Full stops, capital letters, exclamation marks and question marks mostly accurate; commas used in lists. 2–3 marks ● Some subordination because (because of his family),which,where. Adverbials (When Pip was thirty- three) and expanded noun phrases (little planes with a steering wheel) add variety. Tense choice appropriate, typically past tense used; some continuous action may be expressed (was waiting for Pip). Some adverbs, eg to indicate writer’s attitude towards the situation (sadly,unfortunately). ● Most sentences correctly demarcated; some commas mark phrases or clauses. 4 –5 marks ● Simple and complex sentences used, with some variety of connectives (while,although,until). Expansion of phrases and clauses adds detail (who was a very hard worker). Range of verb forms develops meaning and maintains appropriate tense choice (had come down,could not afford). Shades of meaning established through additional words, phrases or clauses, eg verbs (decided to make); adverbs (desperately). ● Range of punctuation used, almost always correctly, eg brackets, dashes, colons. 6 –7 marks ● Length and focus of sentences varied to express subtleties in meaning and to focus on key ideas, eg use of passive (Pip was mesmerised by the mechanisms). Sentences may include controlled use of several subordinate clauses (while children sit on horses which are hanging down from poles) sometimes for economy of expression. Word order used to create emphasis (For this he received a Victory Cross). ● Range of punctuation, with little omission, to give clarity. 8 marks Band A2 Band A3 Band A4 Band A5 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 30

31 Band B1 SECTION BTEXT STRUCTURE AND ORGANISATION Assessment focuses: organise and present whole texts effectively, sequencing and structuring information, ideas and events construct paragraphs and use cohesion within and between paragraphs ● Ideas grouped into sequences of sentences; may follow a simple chronology. Use of third person may not be consistent. Beginning or end may be marked by simple narrative phrases (One day). ● Simple connectives used (and,and then). Some connection between sentences, eg pronouns referring to the same person or thing. 1 mark ● Text structure overall is simple: some events organised into a basic chronological sequence; brief introduction or ending. Some divisions between events indicated (finally). ● Connection between sentences built up by reference to events or people (Pip and Uncle Henry / They). Other relationships within and between sentences may be used, eg contrast (but no one thought he could be famous). 2–3 marks ● The biography is organised: paragraphs or sections are logically sequenced, although transitions between paragraphs may be awkward. Shifts in time and place help shape the text and guide the reader, eg by introducing a new stage in Pip’s life (When Pip was a bit older). ● Within paragraphs or sections, content may be developed around a main sentence. Paragraphs or sections expanded to develop a particular event or topic. Connections within paragraphs or sections maintained (Uncle Henry / his uncle / he). 4 –5 marks ● Overall organisation of the biography is supported by paragraphs. Relationships between paragraphs give structure, eg contrast between good times and bad times (Pip was enjoying his life,until in 1893). ● Within paragraphs, main ideas are developed with relevant detail, eg a paragraph gives detail about a significant event. Reference to people / events / settings sometimes varied to avoid repetition (Hettie / a nice pretty girl). 6 –7 marks ● Sequencing of paragraphs contributes to overall effectiveness, eg first paragraph is a brief summary of Pip’s main achievements. The structure of the biography is controlled across the text. Chronology of life story may be interrupted for effect, eg inclusion of reflective comments (Pip still carried on bravely, thriving on more success). Paragraphs varied in length and structure. ● Each paragraph has a clear focus, and content is organised. Connection between ideas developed, eg by reference or contrast within the paragraph. 8 marks Band B2 Band B3 Band B4 Band B5 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 31

32 Band C1 SECTION CCOMPOSITION AND EFFECT Assessment focuses: write imaginative, interesting and thoughtful texts produce texts which are appropriate to task, reader and purpose ● A simple recount of events based on the prompt; conventional narrative form may be evident. ● Some detail included to interest reader (He was a clever boy). 1–2 marks ● Form is a simple life story; some detail or description of rides; some explanation (his uncle said yes so Pip invented some more). ● Writing shows evidence of viewpoint; narration suggests some attitude to Pip, eg admiration (a great success); sympathy. ● Word choice often general (loads of books) with some detail (at 20 mph,he wore glasses). Some attempt at biography style, eg events developed through narration not dialogue; level of formality not consistent. 3 –5 marks ● Biography form maintained; comments from narrator engage reader with life story (It was a sad and unfortunate event); explanation (because his father was always busy at work). Balance between account of events and comments. ● Viewpoint is established and maintained, eg Pip portrayed as deserving of success (still in use today). ● Some straightforward stylistic features used to support purpose, eg inclusion of formal vocabulary (private property,lady); descriptive (serious,kind man) and informative word choice. 6 –8 marks ● Ideas adapted; eg content includes what happens after Pip’s death (Since his death in 1920, his rides have become more popular). Changes in pace maintain reader interest (his life had come to a stop). ● Viewpoint is established and controlled, eg the narrator appears well-informed (People had described him as fun, energetic and generous). ● Some stylistic features add emphasis and interest, eg precise language (orphan,confidence), vivid language (golden animals on a spinning plate); names of rides may be chosen for effect (Rickety Rascal,Pipponator). 9 –11 marks ● Choice and placing of content is informed by purpose, eg narrator ends by considering Pip’s life story within wider context (thought of by many as the father of today’s fairgrounds). ● Viewpoint well controlled, eg narrator’s portrayal of events encourages reader to interpret life story in a particular way (he designed rides so that more children would enjoy their childhood, unlike him). ● A range of stylistic features, eg quotation for effect (Pip’s last words were ‘Never let reality get in the way of your dreams’), patterning (a small man with a big reputation), figurative language. 12 marks Band C2 Band C3 Band C4 Band C5 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 32

33 Band F1 SECTION FHANDWRITING All pupils need to develop a serviceable handwriting style which is legible, clear and encourages the reader to engage with what has been written. This assessment of handwriting is based on pupils’ ability to write legibly and fluently in a sustained piece of writing. Judgements will be made on the basis of the legibility and clarity of the handwriting throughout the longer task, supported by a closer look at the size and position of words and letters. The handwriting is legible and shows some features of regularity in size and spacing. However, overall the script is disjointed and uneven. 1 mark Overall, the handwriting is regular with some flow and movement. Letters and words are usually appropriate in size and position but there is some variation. 2 marks The handwriting is consistent and fluent with letters and words appropriately placed. The handwriting maintains a personal style to engage the reader. 3 marks Band F2 Band F3 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 33

34 some divisions indicated (B2) contrast relationship (B2) brief concluding remarks (B2) sentence demarcation (A2) simple connectives (A2) occasional sentence variation (A2) simple noun phrases (A2) repeated verbs (A2) Pip Davenport was born in 1850 4th Janury in Slewsberry. Pip helped his uncle at the fun fiar in the day and studyed all night. He invedead new rides and won prizes for this. Pip rote books about fair grounds with his wife Hettie. Pip died were he was born in Slewberry in 1920. Pip Davenport was a very nice man he was kind to anyone. He was very help full and. He was so imainatave. Pip did get angry easy. Pip Davenport stayed carm if he was angry. When Pip was a kid he always done as he was told. When Pip was a child he never ever liked fiar rides he always liked to study. Pip married when he was 20 years old. Pip lost his mother and farther when he was 16 years old and lived on his own. After marriage he thourt about inventing fair rides. Pip inveted some cool rides like the merry go round and the goast trian. Pip also invedead the bumber cars with a savety helmet. Pip also ived rolacosers some for babys and some for older children and adults to. Pip inveded the big weell and a small weell for all ages he checked it to see if it was safe the carages were safe so it was ready to be put on the fiar. Pip also inveded the grasshoppler wich went up and down and round and round. Pip was a very usefull man even though his pearents were not there he lived to be proud of him self. Pip was a man of use and is lived to be rembered by evey one to be thankful of him. SENTENCE STRUCTURE & PUNCTUATION TEXT STRUCTURE & ORGANISATION COMPOSITION & EFFECT A simple account of Pip’s life; some detail about the rides (with a savety helmet,went up and down) (C2). Attitude towards Pip is evident (very nice man) but not consistent (Pip did get angry easy. Pip Davenport stayed carm if he was angry.) (below C2). • Vocabulary is mostly general (kind,liked,safe); mixture of formal and informal language choices (some cool rides,thankful of him) (C2). Summary This straightforward narration uses mainly simple language choices. Inclusion of some detail about the main events and description of the fairground inventions provides further evidence for Band C2; however, inconsistency of viewpoint keeps the mark to the lowest in the band. Band C2 – 3 marks SENTENCE STRUCTURE & PUNCTUATION Summary Evidence of repeated subjects and verbs, together with simple connectives and occasional sentence variation suggest award in Band A2. Sentence demarcation is mostly accurate; however, the lack of commas limits the mark to the lower in the band. Band A2 – 2 marks TEXT STRUCTURE & ORGANISATION Summary The opening section of text is mostly copied from the prompt. Nevertheless, what follows shows evidence of simple sequential organisation of some events in Pip’s life, finishing with a short ending and suggesting Band B2. Inclusion of some divisions between events and reference connections justify award of the higher mark in the band. Band B2 – 3 marks repeated subjects (A2) occasional expansion of noun phrases (A2) connection built up by reference (B2) 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 34

35 SENTENCE STRUCTURE & PUNCTUATION TEXT STRUCTURE & ORGANISATION connection built up by reference (B2) some events in basic chronological sequence (B2) COMPOSITION & EFFECT • Although the placing of events is not consistent, the life story includes some detail to interest (died on his doorstep) and some explanation (because he didn’t go to school) (C2). Viewpoint is evident through comments on Pip’s character (was intelegent) and evaluation of his achievements (were not as succsesfull) (C2). Some detail given in formal biography style (at the age of 95 on November 13th 1935); other choices are general (school,home, money) (C2). Summary The inclusion of some detail and evidence of the writer’s point of view provide some development of events in Pip’s life story, sufficient to merit the middle mark in Band C2. Further consistency of form (placing of comments about Pip’s death at the end) necessary for highest mark in band. Band C2 – 4 marks SENTENCE STRUCTURE & PUNCTUATION Summary The use of simple noun phrases and connectives, together with repetition of subject and verbs and mainly secure sentence demarcation, suggests an award in Band A2. Although there is no evidence of commas, the presence of some varied subordination and the use of the omission apostrophe (above A2) justify the higher mark in the band. Band A2 – 3 marks subordination (above A2) omission apostrophes (above A2) repeated subject and verb (A2) sentence demarcation (A2) TEXT STRUCTURE & ORGANISATION Summary Evidence to reference links through the text build connections and indicate a mark in Band B2. The organisation of most events to form a chronological sequence, together with the inclusion of introductory comments, is sufficient for the award of the higher mark in the band. Band B2 – 3 marks Pip Davenport was an intelegent man he had wild imaganations on fair ground rides he took after his uncle. Pip Davenport was intelegent even though he didn’t have any education because he didn’t go to school. He died on his doorstep whilst coming home from a night club. He died October 15th 1920. Some of pips wild inventions was the walser and the merry go round. But the one who made him who he is to day was the rollercoaster ! pip wrote a book wich got an award he carried on writing books with his wife but his other ones were not as succsesfull. He made money but not enough to make him a millionare like he would of been today. His wife died at the age of 95 on November 13th 1935. noun phrases with limited expansion (A2) simple connectives (A2) overall text organisation: introduction (B2) attempt at ending weakened by earlier mention of Pip’s own death (B2) simple noun phrases (A2) 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 35

36 SENTENCE STRUCTURE & PUNCTUATION TEXT STRUCTURE & ORGANISATION topic development: use of a paragraph to expand the theme of education (B3) overall organisation: shifts in time help to guide the reader (B3) development weakened as paragraph contains several different sections of content (below B3) reference limited to links back to first paragraph (below B3) COMPOSITION & EFFECT Detail and explanation (named after a famous poet,stole a ruby from a museum for one of his experiments) creates interest in the life story (C3); balance weakens at the end as significant events are dealt with briefly (below C3). Some phrases indicate writer’s attitude to events (painstakingly slow) (C3); but not consistent. Stylistic features support biography form; formal address (early days of 1868,perished), informative vocabulary (a degree in thecnical engincering) (C3). Summary Despite some difficulties with the balance of content, this piece includes relevant detail about Pip’s life to interest the reader, whilst maintaining biography form. Combined with some careful word choice, this is just sufficient to merit Band C3; however, more consistent evidence of viewpoint and further development of content (for example, about the fairground inventions) would be necessary for a higher mark in the band. Band C3 – 6 marks SENTENCE STRUCTURE & PUNCTUATION Summary Expanded noun phrases, subordination and adverbials indicate award in Band A3; evidence of most sentences demarcated with full stops and capital letters, together with some use of commas within the sentence, justifies the higher mark. Band A3 – 5 marks adverbials (A3) expanded noun phrases (A3) use of commas to mark divisions in a sentence (A3) TEXT STRUCTURE & ORGANISATION Summary Evidence of a developed paragraph to expand a particular topic and time references to guide the reader through the text lead to Band B3. However, the mark is limited to the lower in the band by less clear section divisions and weaker use of reference in the second half of the text. Band B3 – 4 marks Pip Davenport was born on the 4th of January 1850 in the small town of Slewsbery. Scince the age of two he was always facinated in funfairs. When he was five, he went to a primary school called ‘Pineby’ named after a famous poet called edward pineby. He spent 4 years at the school. At the end of 1859 he went to Slewsbury comprehensive, and by the early days of 1868 he he got a degree in thecnical engincering . In 1871 he stole a ruby from a museum for one of his experiments and spent 5 painstakingly slow years in Slewsbury prison when he was freed he had changed he studied funfairs and got a job at a local fair, during the night he studied ideas for new funfair rides. during his carrer , he invented the first roller coaster called the ‘train of doom’ the ferris wheel and the waltzer. He retired in 1915 and in 1920 he perished in a house fire at the age of 70. secure demarcation (A3) subordination (A3) 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 36

37 SENTENCE STRUCTURE & PUNCTUATION TEXT STRUCTURE & ORGANISATION topic development: section on Pip’s rides is introduced and expanded from an opening sentence (B3) connections maintained within paragraphs (B3) topic development: section on Hettie expanded by related information about the books (B3) COMPOSITION & EFFECT Biography includes a balance of events (started inventing rides, Then he met Hettie) and explanatory comment about Pip’s life (so he lived with his dad,because they were so good) (C3). Writing maintains positive attitude by portraying Pip as a good person (nice kind, gentle, helpful,and caring) and worthy of admiration (even wrote books together) (C3). Some phrases provide interest (the woman of his dreams,Happy and Sad) (C3); however, other vocabulary choices are general (live, made,good) and the level of formality is not consistent (loved her loads,an autobiography) (below C3). Summary Events in Pip’s life are presented in the form of a biography with some detail and comment to engage; the establishment of a positive viewpoint provides further evidence for Band C3. Greater consistency of chosen style (formal or informal) and careful selection of vocabulary to interest would be necessary for highest mark in band. Band C3 – 7 marks SENTENCE STRUCTURE & PUNCTUATION Summary Use of adverbials, expanded noun phrases, subordination and adverbs, together with appropriate use of past tense suggests award in Band A3. There is some evidence of commas correctly used to support division within the sentence; however, repeated weaknesses in sentence demarcation limit the mark to the lower in the band. Band A3 – 4 marks commas used to separate clauses within a sentence (A3) use of past tense (A3) subordination (A3) adverbs (A3) TEXT STRUCTURE & ORGANISATION Summary Shifts in time, indicated by Pip’s age, are used to organise events sequentially. Within sections, there is evidence of topic development and pronoun reference to maintain connections. These features, together, merit award of the higher mark in Band B3. Band B3 – 5 marks Pip Davenport was born in the 4th January 1850 in Slewsbury. When he was born his mum died, so he lived with his dad. They went on lots of adventures together they, also went to the fair, they really enjoyed it there they went on lots of rides, but mostly roller coasters, then when Pip was 7 his dad died, and then he had to live with his Uncle Henry he became a nice kind, gentle, helpful, and caring person. By the time Pip was 29 he started inventing rides for the fun fair with his Uncle Henry first of all he made the Cups and Saucers, then he made the Twister, and after that he made the merry go round with a little bit of help from his Uncle Henry. The rides he had invented were, and still are very popular for the little kids, and for the adults. Pip won a prize for all his hard working inventions, because they were so good. When Pip was 43 years old his Uncle Henry died, then he had no one left, and was very sad, Then he met Hettie the woman of his dreams, and got married to her when he was 44. He loved her loads they even wrote books together about all the fairgrounds one of them was called Happy and Sad, but that one was about his life (an autobiography) it sold really quickly, and when he was 57 he was rich. Pip, and Hettie had 3 children together, but in 1920 Pip died, he was 70 years old. adverbials (A3) sentence demarcation inaccurate or ignored (below A3) whole text organisation: use of Pip’s age helps to guide the reader through the sequence of events (B3) expanded noun phrases (A3) 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 37

complex sentences (A4) 38 SENTENCE STRUCTURE & PUNCTUATION TEXT STRUCTURE & ORGANISATION varied reference to Pip and Billy (B4) paragraph development: paragraph used to develop the theme of Pip’s growing success (B4) relationships between paragraphs created by contrast and connection in theme (B4) paragraph with limited development (below B4) change of theme in second part of paragraph limits development (below B4) COMPOSITION & EFFECT Diary comments (Billys’ diary said, “I have to be …) and quotation provide convincing adaptation of biography form and create interest (C4); unexplained dramatic event (Billy was mysteriously murdered) weakens overall impact (below C4). The writer’s informed stance is established through inclusion of detail (ginness world records,1863,Over 2,000 people attended) (C4). Emphasis created through stylistic choice (Little did Pip know,Pip was also described as a roller coaster); some language is vivid (distrought) and precise (serious stroke) (C4). Summary This thorough and informative account of Pip’s life uses adaptation of form and carefully selected language to create a biography to interest and engage, justifying the award of the top mark in Band C4. Further control of content choice (for example, full integration of dramatic event into the biography) necessary for award of Band C5. Band C4 – 11 marks SENTENCE STRUCTURE & PUNCTUATION Summary Sentence variety, including expanded complex sentences with the use of different verb forms and connectives, indicates award in Band A4. Evidence of a range of punctuation confirms the higher mark in band, although further consistency of usage would be necessary for award of Band A5. Band A4 – 7 marks variety of connectives (A4) range of verb forms to develop meaning (A4) range of punctuation (A4): possessive apostrophe; ellipsis; speech marks. TEXT STRUCTURE & ORGANISATION Summary The overall structure of the biography, established by paragraph divisions, is further shaped by meaningful links between some of the different sections. Within some paragraphs, there is evidence of varied reference and development of relevant detail, leading to an award in Band B4. However, weaknesses in paragraph development towards the end of the text limit the mark to the lower in the band. Band B4 – 6 marks additional word and clause create shades of meaning (A4) simple sentences (A4) On the 4th January, 1850 a gifted inventor was born into the world. Pip was born in Slewsbury, into a rich family of two. Little did Pip know how special he really was… As Pip grew older it was eaier to see how talented he was. At the age of 1 1/2yrs Pip was confidently walking and at the age of 2 yrs pip was saying words some adults struggle to say! Sadly, when Pip was only the young age of 4 years pip’s mother, Eva, had a heart attack and died. This left poor pip’s father, Billy, heartbroken . When Pip creeped to the age of 10 years old he was employed, by helping his Uncle Henry at the funfair all day. Meanwhile at night, Pip started his job at inventing. After 3 hard working years of inventing, Pip created the carasoul, and did a deal with his rich Uncle to place it only in his funfair. Sir Davenport, as they then called him , won tons of awards and prizes, including a place in the ginness world records, 1863, for the youngest successful inventor of his time. 10 years later Sir Davenport had invented (as well as the carasoul) what he called the wheel, and the first ever working roller coaster. Pips father soon came out of grieving . Billys’ diary said, “ I have to be the proudest father ever . Thank-you god”. Also in his diary Billy described Pip as very hard working and kind. 7 years later at the age of 30 years old, Pip was engaged to Hettie Moon. His wedding was huge . Over 2,000 people attended including the queen of Slewsbury. Sir Davenport just didn’t stop ! No one would believe that 2 years after Hettie and Pip’s wedding, they had stuck their heads together and written a book all about fairgrounds. Sadly the day pip and Hetties book was published, Billy was mysteriously murdered… When Pip reached 69 years he was transported to hospital with a serious stroke . Everything was done to try and save Pip but on his 70th birthday 1920 pip died … Pips life was described as a roller coaster , and Pip was also described as a roller coaster. “He just didn’t know when to stop”, quoted his distrought wife Hettie. 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 38

39 SENTENCE STRUCTURE & PUNCTUATION TEXT STRUCTURE & ORGANISATION overall organisation: contrast between good times and difficult times emphasised by paragraph division marking new theme (B4) war theme developed with relevant detail (B4) overall organisation: controlled return to fairground theme gives structure to whole text (B4) COMPOSITION & EFFECT The opening and ending of the biography place Pip’s life in a wider context (virtually foundered the theme parks we visit today); the war theme is purposefully integrated into the life story (now, being disabled, he started writing books about fairgrounds) (C5). Controlled viewpoint: portrayal of events encourages sympathetic interpretation (forced to join,to help the rest of the soldiers) (C5). Stylistic features create a formal, explanatory address (people would say) with precise use of technical language (army forces,tank technition,conflict) (C5). Summary In this engaging and imaginative account of Pip’s life, carefully selected content is developed and convincingly interwoven with the events given in the prompt. An authoritative viewpoint and consistent style contribute to this presentation and warrant the award of the top mark (Band C5). Band C5 – 12 marks SENTENCE STRUCTURE & PUNCTUATION Summary Meaning is developed through the controlled use of passive constructions, expanded sentences with subordinate clauses and a short sentence for effect. These features, combined with accurate and consistent use of a range of punctuation marks, merit the award of the top mark: Band A5. Band A5 – 8 marks range of punctuation (A5): consistent capitalisation of names use of passive (A5) range of punctuation (A5): commas to organise information within the sentence TEXT STRUCTURE & ORGANISATION Summary Evidence of individual paragraphs extensively developed with relevant detail – together with an overall text structure where links provide both contrast and connection between sections – leads to the higher mark in Band B4. For the top mark (Band B5), maintenance of paragraph divisions to shape the end of the text would be necessary. Band B4 – 7 marks short sentence for effect (A5) Here is a biography on the life of Pip Davenport, who was born on the 4th January 1850, an amazing inventor that virtually foundered the theme parks we visit today. Pip was born on the 4th January 1850, (in Slewsbury) and grew up working with his Uncle. At the youngest of ages , people would say that he was a born inventor because of the way he liked to tinker with machines. When Pip was old enough he started work at his local fairground, helping his Uncle, free of charge. At night Pip studied mechanics and the way machines work. Over the year Pip started to create new rides, such as the carousel and tea cups, then he had a majour break through . The first ever rollercoaster was built. This was the fastest ride around. Thousands of people wanted to ride it. Pip became so wealthy he opened a new fair ground. Soon after he won an an award, for the national fairground of the year, and was in newspapers everywhere. When the first world war began , Britain against Germany, Pip Davenport was forced to join the army forces and became a tank technition. In the battle of the Somme, Pip was injured when he was shot in the leg and lost an arm due to shrapnell from a shell. In 1918 Pip returned and married Hettie Davenport at a late age of sixty eight years old. Pip and Hettie donated lots of money to hospital funds, which was to buy new equipment, to help the rest of the soldiers who were injured in the conflict. With Pip now, being disabled, he started writing books about fairgrounds and the rides. One of his best sellers was one, which he was inspired to make after the war, called war machines. In this he had plans for creating a plane ride. Hettie gave birth to two children, who were called Samuel and Edward. Before he died he told them to carry on his inventions and then he passed away, in 1920 , at his hom town of Slewsbury. In conclusion many off the rides today are all thanks to the born inventor, Pip Davenport. development of an individual paragraph to chart the stages of Pip’s rise to success (B4) controlled use of several subordinate clauses (A5) lack of paragraph break to mark new topic weakens overall text structure (below B5) 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 39

40 The handwriting is legible and shows some features of regularity in size and spacing. However, overall the script is disjointed and uneven. Example awarded 1 mark Handwriting examples 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 40

41 The handwriting is legible and shows some features of regularity in size and spacing. However, overall the script is disjointed and uneven. Example awarded 1 mark 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 41

42 Overall, the handwriting is regular with some flow and movement. Letters and words are usually appropriate in size and position but there is some variation. Example awarded 2 marks 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 42

43 Overall, the handwriting is regular with some flow and movement. Letters and words are usually appropriate in size and position but there is some variation. Example awarded 2 marks 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 43

44 The handwriting is consistent and fluent with letters and words appropriately placed. The handwriting maintains a personal style to engage the reader. Example awarded 3 marks 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 44

45 The handwriting is consistent and fluent with letters and words appropriately placed. The handwriting maintains a personal style to engage the reader. Example awarded 3 marks 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 45

46 BLANK PAGE 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 46

47 The shorter task:Memories of the School Year This prompt asks pupils to imagine that a book about memories of the school year is being prepared by their class. The task is for the pupil to write his or her own page of memories for the book; support for content is provided in the form of some suggested topics. However, the prompt makes it clear that the final selection of memories is left to the writer’s imagination, and the planning space encourages decision-making. Better performances are distinguished by the controlled management of developed, accurately punctuated sentences supporting the convincing presentation of school experiences that offer a personal perspective and have been carefully selected and combined to amuse, entertain or interest the reader. 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 47

48 Mark scheme for the shorter task: Memories of the School Year Band D1 SECTION DSENTENCE STRUCTURE, PUNCTUATION AND TEXT ORGANISATION Assessment focuses: vary sentences for clarity, purpose and effect write with technical accuracy of syntax and punctuation in phrases, clauses and sentences construct paragraphs and use cohesion within and between paragraphs ● Clauses usually grammatically accurate, mostly joined with and,then,so. Some simple sentences, often a brief sequence starting with subject + verb (I had …). Some connections between sentences, eg pronouns (I / it). ● Sentences sometimes demarcated by capital letters and full stops. 1 mark ● Simple connectives and,but,or,so,whenlink clauses. Subjects and verbs frequently repeated (I went). Noun phrases mostly simple (a medal) with simple expansion (a good time). Some sentences expanded with simple adverbials (The next day). Connections between sentences built up (my friends). ● Full stops, capital letters, exclamation marks and question marks mostly accurate; commas used in lists. 2 marks ● Sentences are mostly grammatically sound. Some subordination, eg because, if(because there was a really big field to ride on). Adverbials (When we got to the town) and expanded noun phrases (a photograph of me as a baby) vary construction of sentences. Tense choice is generally consistent and appropriate. Some variation in subjects (We, The whole year). Ideas developed within sections. Connections between ideas maintained through ongoing reference (I loved that game). ● Most sentences correctly demarcated; some commas mark phrases or clauses. 3 marks ● Simple and complex sentences used, with varied connectives, eg which,who,although(Although I was nervous). Expanded phrases and clauses express ideas economically (the only one who volunteered to do abseiling). Main ideas supported by organisation of sentences and/or sections of text (My second favourite part). ● Range of punctuation used, almost always correctly, eg brackets, dashes, colons. 4 marks Band D2 Band D3 Band D4 2008 Rain And Shi ne Marksheme LIVE .qxp 13/12/07 14:33 Page 48

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